We are riding the ebbs and flow in this ocean of infertility. There have been times when I felt I was hanging onto the life vest of hope and others where I'm sinking to the ocean floor, real low points emotionally. Along the way, I am meeting new people and seeing God place each person on the path to walk with me for the time they are needed. Some of them do not even realize the impact they are providing, like the guy at the hospital registration desk that smiled and said, "you are going to make a great mom, I can see it in you." or the lady who congratulated me today that I did not have to return for more ultrasounds but could move forward in this journey. What absolute jewels. Though they only walked with me for brief moments, they make the journey bearable. I feel so blessed by their kind, sincere words.
And unfortunately, there are so many times that we, as "barren" women, can feel as though we are just being pushed through the lab. Got her blood work done, "NEXT!" Sometimes its simple lack of a conversation because they know why you are there. Its difficult for some to know what to say to us sometimes and that just leaves the awkward silence hanging. If your in this battle, I'm sure you've been there.
Despite those moments of difficult interaction that leave me emotionally void, there have been many, many more wonderfully encouraging people around me lately. They certainly deserve some praise.
First, my Nurse Mary who is educating me on the woman's reproductive system and truly acting as a second mom right now. She goes far over and beyond her duties as a Creighton Model educator. She checks in on me regularly to see how I am doing in every aspect of this journey. I feel so blessed to have her, and I will continue to cherish her. It is through her that I am also learning that NaProTechnology and the Creighton Model Method are a calling to those who serve in its ever-growing community. Your life and success matter to everyone involved.
That brings me to Dr. Gray. I think I can truly say that he is the most caring and compassionate physician I have ever met. He believes very strongly in the practice of NaProTechnology and it's benefits in the women's health arena, and he works very diligently to proceed with each case individually. You are not a patient number and file. You are a woman, a mother, and a sister in Christ. He cares for your well-being physically, mentally, and spiritually. Not only that, his staff reciprocates that same practice and care. I have talked with them daily lately, and I can sometimes hear him in the background (probably between patients) jumping into the conversation to check on me too. What amazing people God has put in my life!
It is very uplifting in the face of these challenges to be surrounded by those who truly care and want to walk this road with you. I believe that God places those with us when we need them. I think the part that makes this so much more special is that I know the spiritual beliefs of those that are guiding me in the medical decisions. I know with absolute certainty that this factor is the leading cause of their nurturing hearts. God's love is able to overflow from them and onto the patience they see. Not only that, I have faith that I am walking in the path that God has led me to. I feel obedient to His will because they are also being obedient to the calling He has placed on them. How could I possibly be in the wrong place with my fertility?
If you wish to be more than a number, I encourage you to look into NaProTechnology. Even if there is not an educator or physician in your area, they work with patients from many distances. After driving across the state to attend my last visit with Dr. Gray, my mother (who has worked in the medical field for 25+ years) said, "you have found a doctor worth driving for. There are not many of them out there."
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