Our Adoption Story: The Beginning

I have committed to sharing our journey to baby and also about adoption in general, but I haven't really begun to explain our adoption story. In actuality, that story is also our journey to baby, but I feel like some details were overlooked. When we announced we were adopting, most people skipped to the end, thinking we were currently bringing home a baby. We have received "congratulations on bring home baby" cards and even some gifts. Unfortunately, that assumption was not correct, but maybe its my fault for not explaining. Maybe these details need to be spoken in order for all to understand where we are right now.

The Beginning

We did begin our journey almost three years ago, when we decided to forgo the traditional birth control pill and allow God to shape our family. Now looking back I understand that this should have been our method from the beginning of our marriage, but society gets us all off track sometimes. I can't beat myself up. I have asked for God's forgiveness and moved on. It obviously didn't work seeing as how we still don't have a baby so we moved on to medical help in January 2012. In March, I posted test results that changed my life and so began sharing the challenges that we faced. On July 12th, my doctor spoke simply and kindly about the reality surrounding my conditions. She was soft spoken, sympathetic, and willing to do whatever we wanted, but in the end she had nothing else to offer. We were at a crossroads. I could still get pregnant if God chose that path, but so far he hadn't. It had been two and a half years. We had faith that God wanted us to be parents as soon as possible, but it wasn't happening.

I visited Mike in Ft. Benning the following Saturday. We sat in the hotel room and talked and cried. We discussed what my doctor had told me, and I told Mike,  "it's time." You see, we had already made this decision. For me, it seems like this decision was made as a child. I can't remember a time when I didn't feel like it wouldn't be a part of my life someday. I can't quite explain that. It wasn't something I ever talked about or researched when I was young. I just knew. God knew. And so as we sought help from doctors to explain why we had not gotten pregnant, we agreed in January that if simple medicine would not help, we would be parents anyway. We would adopt.

 "Faith is a living, bold trust in God's grace, so certain of God's favor that it would risk death a thousand times trusting in it. Such confidence and knowledge of God's grace makes you happy, joyful and bold in your relationship to God and all creatures."  -Martin Luther

On that Saturday, our tears of sadness became those of joy. We were overwhelmed with a sense of excitement and renewed strength. We knew we were following God's will for our life and for our future children's lives.  And so we began a new journey to baby.

 It is amazing the change that has come with this announcement. I can't explain the level of happiness that we feel. We aren't saddened by negative tests. I'm not sure that I want to experience becoming a mommy any other way than the one that God chose for me. I'm at peace with that. I don't long for it any longer. Instead my heart is set on a love that Christ alone will give.

"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18