Looking Backward to See Forward

My world has been a little hectic lately, and I fear I missed a great opportunity. It seems I've been far too preoccupied with others to have time for myself or my accomplishments. I hardly had time to jump on today and publish a post that has been written for weeks. Where is my brain and my focus these days? Oh yeah...the Army happened. Well anyway, may I please take a moment to say what should have been said a few weeks ago. I apologize for my tardiness.

November 16th was Proulxville's 1st Birthday! I may be a little late and slightly self-centered for the moment, but I would like to pat myself on the back just a bit. A year of writing to you all. An entire year of spilling my guts, it seems. I had to look back over the year of blogging. When I spoke of a "delightful journey" on November 16, 2011, I'm not sure I knew what I was getting myself into. I had committed to keeping others informed of the happenings in our household for a purely personal reason. I wanted our family and friends who can't live in town with us to feel connected. I wanted to nurture relationships so that we didn't lose touch with those we love all over the world. I didn't intend on allowing the blog to get so up close and personal and...vulnerable.

But that is what friendship is, right? I was reminded by a dear friend recently that a true friendship, a fellowship that is real and deep, is a vulnerable place to be. You spill everything to a friend who you know will be there to love and support you, who can sympathize with everyday life that demands to be lived. It's a trust and love that should be nurtured and protected. If it is, then that scary vulnerability is a place we may feel safe. We find a happiness and joy that makes having a best friend an amazing blessing. This true friendship is only found a few times in life, with a parent maybe, a spouse hopefully, and on special occasion a best friend or two.

I'm finding though that the more honest and open I am about life, the more meaningful it becomes. I have more deep friendships with some pretty amazing women. I have a growing openness with my family that is not so common these days. And my marriage is the type of relationship that God intended, again quite rare. I'm learning that every time I speak openly about my life others relate and respond positively. And although it may seem I could be on the edge of a cliff at times with this honesty, my faith keeps me firm on solid ground despite the risk.

So, although I intended this blog to be for close family and friends, it isn't exactly for the family and friends that I had. Instead it is becoming for the family and friends I am gaining along the way. Through the trials of the last year, I have met new friends (some I love as family now) that needed to hear what I have written. They needed to know they weren't alone, and quite frankly, I needed them to hear so I knew I wasn't alone either. I have learned that a blog is more than a memoir. It can be a resource for learning and educating, for empowering, and for advocating. I'm not sure exactly where I'm headed with this blog. Unfortunately, I can't see the future, but I know I want to keep moving forward. I want to keep sharing, spilling my guts. Not holding back.

So Happy Belated Birthday Proulxville. May the next year of blogging help me to dig deeper into this life God planned for me and give of myself to those who have need to hear His love.