The Things of Fairy Tales

I'm literally crying tears of joy tonight. You may be wondering why...or thinking man this girl cries a lot. The cause of this moisture on my cheeks is because I'm blessed to have arguably the best marriage on the planet.

We are nearing the end, and I haven't spoken really about the deployment. There are times when it is difficult, and I would give anything to have Mike walk in the house like he always does when I'm cooking dinner. I want him to place his lunch box on the counter and PT bag on the floor so he can give me a big hug, like he always does when he is home. There have been moments when I wished he could have held my hand while I endured more fertility trials or hold me while I cried because I still am not a mother. Life is tough and deployments make those unpleasant days, well...worse to say the least.

In the midst of a deployment though, I'm on cloud 9. I can sit here tonight and pretend that those fireworks booming outside are celebrating our love. After all, true love should be celebrated. And though we are separated by 7,000 miles, half a world apart we are so incredibly happy.

Mike and I have been discussing a lot of things lately through email (our main form of communication and quite an improvement since Ranger school, don't you think?!). Among many things, we share words of affirmation for one another. We have learned how to accurately communicate love. I wish we could bottle what we have and give it away, like some sort of love potion for the brokenhearted. Or simply tell you about every little thing that helps us. Communicating love is but one item of our "Best Marriage Gotta Have" list.

Maybe, someday, we can share more details of our marriage with others. It most likely will not come in the form of a magic potion, although a Disney princess wouldn't have it any other way. We have weathered our fair share of storms and have been faced with challenges that only God saved us from. Despite it all, what we have is a storybook romance that is growing more beautiful and intricate everyday.

Prince Charming wears a horrid shade of green and this princess looks like Cinderella in need of a fairy godmother most days, but I know that fairy tales really do come true because of our story. It brings me such joy to know that we are living....

happily ever after.

More Than a Number: Finding Love and Support Through Infertility

We are riding the ebbs and flow in this ocean of infertility. There have been times when I felt I was hanging onto the life vest of hope and others where I'm sinking to the ocean floor, real low points emotionally. Along the way, I am meeting new people and seeing God place each person on the path to walk with me for the time they are needed. Some of them do not even realize the impact they are providing, like the guy at the hospital registration desk that smiled and said, "you are going to make a great mom, I can see it in you." or the lady who congratulated me today that I did not have to return for more ultrasounds but could move forward in this journey. What absolute jewels. Though they only walked with me for brief moments, they make the journey bearable. I feel so blessed by their kind, sincere words.

And unfortunately, there are so many times that we, as "barren" women, can feel as though we are just being pushed through the lab. Got her blood work done, "NEXT!" Sometimes its simple lack of a conversation because they know why you are there. Its difficult for some to know what to say to us sometimes and that just leaves the awkward silence hanging. If your in this battle, I'm sure you've been there.

Despite those moments of difficult interaction that leave me emotionally void, there have been many, many more wonderfully encouraging people around me lately. They certainly deserve some praise.

First, my Nurse Mary who is educating me on the woman's reproductive system and truly acting as a second mom right now. She goes far over and beyond her duties as a Creighton Model educator. She checks in on me regularly to see how I am doing in every aspect of this journey. I feel so blessed to have her, and I will continue to cherish her. It is through her that I am also learning that NaProTechnology and the Creighton Model Method are a calling to those who serve in its ever-growing community. Your life and success matter to everyone involved.

That brings me to Dr. Gray. I think I can truly say that he is the most caring and compassionate physician I have ever met. He believes very strongly in the practice of NaProTechnology and it's benefits in the women's health arena, and he works very diligently to proceed with each case individually. You are not a patient number and file. You are a woman, a mother, and a sister in Christ. He cares for your well-being physically, mentally, and spiritually. Not only that, his staff reciprocates that same practice and care. I have talked with them daily lately, and I can sometimes hear him in the background (probably between patients) jumping into the conversation to check on me too. What amazing people God has put in my life!

It is very uplifting in the face of these challenges to be surrounded by those who truly care and want to walk this road with you. I believe that God places those with us when we need them. I think the part that makes this so much more special is that I know the spiritual beliefs of those that are guiding me in the medical decisions. I know with absolute certainty that this factor is the leading cause of their nurturing hearts. God's love is able to overflow from them and onto the patience they see. Not only that, I have faith that I am walking in the path that God has led me to. I feel obedient to His will because they are also being obedient to the calling He has placed on them. How could I possibly be in the wrong place with my fertility?

If you wish to be more than a number, I encourage you to look into NaProTechnology. Even if there is not an educator or physician in your area, they work with patients from many distances. After driving across the state to attend my last visit with Dr. Gray, my mother (who has worked in the medical field for 25+ years) said, "you have found a doctor worth driving for. There are not many of them out there."

Home Projects Galore

So I have been gone lately from our virtual Proulxville, but I have not been lazy. I have been working on several things around the house, and I have more projects in the works. This afternoon I bought another plant. I've been doing a lot of that lately. This one is suppose to keep the mosquitoes away. I've also been doing a lot of sacrificing my blood to the mosquitoes lately too. I decided to sit on the back porch by this fancy geranium while I write to you all and test this keeping the bugs at bay theory. I've also been doing a whole lot of natural testing, but we'll save that for another time.

First and foremost, I had a job. Actually, I had two. The latter job I quit, but the first one affords me a summer break must like a teaching job. That would be because it revolves around the school calendar. It will start back up in the fall, but for now I'm free again. I enjoy working to a certain extent. I like having a purpose for most of my days. Having a part time job helps me to have something outside of the home and a little extra spending cash. However, I do not like it to interfere with my life. That may sound petty, and I do not wish to offend any woman who chooses to work full time. To each their own. I was once on a career path myself. However, I have come to appreciate keeping my home. So long story short, last week I quit the job that was interfering.

That job kept me away from you all, but it did not keep me from working around the house some. My rePostable home project will be starting again....next week I've decided. Please give me a few days to complete something and post about it.

I have successfully built and planted a 100% organic vegetable garden. The weather has been crazy cool this year so planting from seed was not really a good option. I found this wonderful nursery in Arizona to purchase seedlings from. For those of you who know me personally, you may know this is my second attempt at having a garden. So far it is going infinitely better than the last time. I can't wait to see what kind of harvest we are able to have. I'll be sure to post pictures.

I've also worked on the outside appearance and curb appeal on our home. I'm working on trying to get grass to grow in the yard, thanks to the help of TruGreen. I'd like to say I was DIYing it, but lets face it, I'm lucky the garden and flowers are doing as well as they are. So far the yard is weed free and a nice deep green. I'd like to see new grass growing, but that will not happen until the fall. Speaking of flowers, I just keep coming home with more. I have gradually brought home several items and arranged them neatly in planters on the front porch. My favorite is the hydrangea mostly because that is my favorite flower in general, but also because I've wanted to plant them since we moved here and couldn't due to lack of shade. Second fav is the hostas for the same reason. So I worked around the no shade thing, bought partial sun varieties, and put them on the front porch where they are mostly protected. I'm also quite proud of my turquoise flower pot DIY. I took a flower pot I bought when we were first married and gave it a quick 30 minute face lift. Tonight I hung our street number on one of the columns because no one can find our house and a flagpole. Now we can properly show off our patriotism this summer.

Inside I've done a bit of decorating. I searched for months for this little table to go by my DIY armchair. I'm so thrilled I had the patience to wait for it. I had almost bought three other tables, but kept on waiting for something better with a smaller price tag. Add a cute pillow and some fake flowers (hydrangeas again), and we have one super cute entryway/bay window. Best part is you can see it as you walk up to the house. Love to be cute inside and out!

Last, I've been demoing a bit in our kitchen. I know we bought a brand new house, but that doesn't mean I can't make it better. So far I have ripped out the baseboards (oh yeah I'm strong) and taken everything off the walls. After my kitchen was naked, I filled in all the holes with spackling. These holes also included some large places from an over-sized puppy. I finished sanding the last few spots today so now its off to the paint store so I can paint and be ready for my handyman to come in and do the part that requires power tools. Being a fan of DIY, I would like to think I could handle this project all by myself, but the simple fact is I have NO power tools. I've asked for Mike to get some for Christmas, but Santa never brings them to him. The things I could do if he only had a saw and a nail gun.

Well I only have one mosquito bite. Maybe this plant was worth the 10 bucks. Go to Lowes and get one!

***Between the writing of this post and the editing/publishing, our giant furball er...Pyrenees decided we needed to demo the kitchen floors too. Yay we are getting new tile! Look for before and after pics of our kitchen....Coming Soon.

Beautiful angelic puppies....

do evil things like this.

Women's Health Revolution

A little while ago, I posted about the need for a cure for infertility. I also have talked here about the method we are choosing to pursue. I know I've been slow to provide more information on both of these areas, but I want to do that. I think this is important and needs to be shared a million times over. Women across our country need to know there is another way.

We have chosen to follow the Creighton Model Method and be seen by an OB/GYN who practices NaProTechnology (despite the travel required.) If you thought I was crunchy before then you might think I'm off my rocker. I'm all the time finding natural alternatives. I'm not a hippy like my husband thinks. I'm practical and logical, and I try to be best educated on the matters that I'm pursuing. The same holds true in the matter of becoming a parent.

So I did all the research possible and as mentioned on a previous post, took an appointment with someone new. Also, previously discussed, NaProTechnology is a form of women's health that is two-fold. You become educated in the area of women's health and see a physician who is more educated and aware in their area of specialty than the vast majority in their field.

So I have been seeing Mary Vozar at Fertility for Life right here in Clarksville. She is a skilled nurse and has been led by God to advocate for and educate women in an area most crucial to them, their reproductive health. She teaches the use and practice of the Creighton Model Method and lends her support and prayer for the women she is working with. From the moment I met her I could tell that she is prayerful and obedient in what God has called her to. What a blessing to have her on my side and to have been led to her! I have been learning about the inner workings of the female reproductive system, the complexity that is involved, and the true miracle that creating life is. The details go far beyond anything ever learned in a biology lecture hall or sex ed course. It is amazing what we can learn from our bodies when we choose to pay attention. Through the use of this method we can know when we can and can't get pregnant, when we are beginning menopause, and when something major (like cancer) could be a concern. It is empowering and inspiring.

Since seeing Nurse Mary, as I like to call her, I have learned that I do indeed ovulate most likely every month. A normal fertile female can have a cycle where she might not ovulate due to stress or other life events so I will not say always. It would be difficult for anyone to say they always ovulate, but I do in fact ovulate. Instead, I have a hormonal issue going on. These key indicators of my fertility status were easily identifiable after a month on the Creighton Model. 

We have taken these indicators to Dr. Gray at the Women's Clinic in Jackson, TN. He is my new OB/GYN and what another blessing I have found in him. He is caring and detailed, not quick to assume but thorough in his diagnosis and treatment of patients. He is also another heart after God. I am currently working with him on some more testing (I didn't say we took the medicine out of this more natural approach) to see if we can pinpoint the precise issues with my hormones and hopefully disprove my PCOS diagnosis. My testing will include blood work, ultrasounds, and a small biopsy. These testing methods provide for the most information with minimal discomfort. They will all be completed in the next few weeks, and we should be ready to start treatments in July!!! You guessed it folks, right in time to get fertile before Mike redeploys (civi-talk: comes homes from deployment.) We have been told already that there is confidence in a successful pregnancy in our near future.

I think this method and practice of women's health care is amazing and exactly what women need. They need support for their bodies, their minds and their spirit. NaProTechonology is so incredibly advanced and should be available everywhere. We need more doctors to sign on with a commitment to their field of study that goes beyond the status quo. We need to spread the word about NaProTechnology and restore the confidence women should have in their OB/GYNs. We need a NaProRevolution so that women can learn there are individual cures for their infertility that are obtainable today.

To learn more about NaProTechnology and the Creighton Model Method CLICK HERE
To read stories of others who have found miracles through the use of NaProTechnology CLICK HERE
 To learn if there is a physician in your state who practices NaProTechnology CLICK HERE **also note that many doctors are working with patients through Skype in order to help those who are too far to travel. Isn't technology awesome sometimes?!**

More than a Band-Aid, We Need a Cure

Last week was officially Infertility Awareness week. It is interesting the way that we have found a day, week, or month to be aware of just about everything in our world. It makes me laugh sometimes at the silly things like Straw Hat month (April) or  Play Your Ukelele Day. Oh yeah, that one is coming up this week.

Today, April 30th, is Honesty Day.  That seems fitting because I'd like to speak very honestly about infertility awareness. Last week, I read well written accounts of different women's struggles with infertility, the blessings that alternative ways of becoming a parent can give, and what not to say to a woman struggling with infertility. I admit that the last topic was pretty good. I receive comments daily from both friends and complete strangers that accidentally cut deep.

What I didn't read last week was working towards a cure. Every October we fight breast cancer and raise money for a cure. Where is the talk about a cure to infertility? Why are we allowing band-aid fixes? Why aren't we demanding more from our doctors? We are blessed that infertility is not a cancer. We are blessed that we are not going to die (at least not on the outside) if we do not carry a pregnancy to term and raise a beautiful, biological child. Band-aids might do the trick, but are we being left with one big, ugly scar.

When we began our infertility journey, we made the decision to pursue adoption if we needed to before we ever step foot in the office for the first visit. We knew that we would not choose IVF or IUI. It just wasn't the way we believed God would give new life to our family. It was a personal conviction. I had researched and read enough to know the typical process that the obstetrician would take in diagnosing and treating any possible issues we were facing. Unfortunately, that process very quickly ends with IVF and many couples are faced with the decision, spend thousands for the slim chance of success or never be parents.

It is not fair that mainstream obstetrics causes this stressful, burdensome decision. There are so many negative side effects that a couple and especially the woman face when pursuing IVF. And the truth is it is not always necessary and most times fail.

I'm speaking honestly saying that there are other ways to achieve a pregnancy. There are natural ways that do not cause stress and harm to our bodies. There are ways that have higher success rates with less financial and emotional costs.

We should be demanding better from our doctors. Quite frankly, they should be better educated. A year ago I had faith in my OB/GYN. She was kind and patient. She listened. She offered advice. Then she "diagnosed" me and started passing out the band-aids. Take this Clomid, you will never ovulate without it. Oh take a higher dose of Clomid because your levels need to be higher to really make sure you ovulate every month. Band-aid. Band-aid. Well, you didn't get pregnant and your husband is deploying, lets get you in to see a reproductive specialist and do IUI while your husband is gone..... Big fat Ace bandage band-aid.

No ma'am. I want a cure. I want to address the cause of my infertility. Is that too much to ask? Can we stop forcing my body to do something it clearly isn't willing to do and instead figure out why?

I encourage you ladies to search for the why. I found my why this week. I will discuss it more over the coming weeks. Guess what?! Its simple, and there is a simple solution. I found the answer through a completely natural process. 

I found my cure because I demanded it. I wasn't harsh, although I did fire my OB quietly. I did my research. I sought out answers, and I found a group of physicians spread out across our country that have the answers.

We do not need Infertility Awareness to educate the general public about our struggles. We need Fertility Awareness for the community of women who are suffering. This is my personal awareness campaign.

More than a Band-Aid. You could find your cure!

A Ranger and His Love: Week 13

5th Ranger Training Brigade, Attempt #1

August 18, 2012

The Ranger

Hey Darlin'

How's your day? I got your letters yesterday which was awesome. I just wish there was more to read because its like getting to talk to you for a brief period of time. And I love getting letters. I'm glad you finally told some family about the adoption, and I can't wait to hear my parents reaction. You definitely need to write me all about it. Well for me, tomorrow is the last day before the first field problem so that is going to suck, but there will some funny stories about droning and halucinating from lack of food and sleep. So that's always fun. Today wasn't bad. We practiced conducting Raids all day and tomorrow is mission prep. Then that night we get the leadership for the first mission which has a good chance of being me since I am the senior officer in the platoon. So pray we all do well. I do not want to do this phase twice. Well its late so I should go. I love you bunches and bunchehs. I hope I get mail from you tomorrow before we go to the field.

August 18, 2012

His Love

Hey Babe-

I hope you are doing well. At this point I think you are finishing mountaineering training and going to get into the graded portion soon. I'm still praying for you. Well I got our local adoption application completed for the home study. I'll get it in the mail Monday probably because its too late today. They are going to want to schedule our visits ASAP so hopefully you graduate soon. So I told your parents! They are so excited! Your mom says now she can answer the "when are you going to be grandparents" question. :) Your dad called Memere to tell her we claim #10 great grand child. This afternoon I'm going to Knoxville to see C. We are going to rent bikes downtown, $10 for 2 hours! and ride along the river. It will be fun. C works out everyday now. I can't wait to see what great shape she's in. I want to buy roller blades still. Can I have a pair for my birthday? They'll give me hot legs :) and it's fun! Okay, running out of room. I love you to the moon.  Keep working hard. You have great things to come home to.

<3 SJ

For further reading:

A Ranger and His Love Series:

Week 1                Week 6

        Week 2                Week 7        
Week 3                Week 8
Week 4                Week 9

       Week 5                Week 10   

Week 11

Week 12  

These letters are very candid, and through sharing them, you can take a deep look at our life in 2012. You can read about the behind the scenes emotions and discussions that we have had regarding our biggest revelations and announcements. These letters were our main communications, something not so common anymore. From this unique perspective, you will see how a love can grow deeper and lives can change despite the time spent apart.

 Just a warning, Mike's letters were, at times, written under extreme sleep and food deprivation. Some of the things he says are a little...off. He rambles, gets repetitive at times, and sometimes doesn't use eloquent word choices. Please forgive him and find the humor in his misery.

A Ranger and His Love: Week 12

5th Ranger Training Brigade, Attempt #1

August 15, 2012

His Love

Good Morning Babe!

Today is (Mike's unit) 70th birthday! I thought you would like that little fun fact. Week of the Eagles is also this week. I also wanted to share this scripture. I don't know if you remember we studied it at church a while back, but it showed up  again in the prayer book I'm doing.

"So do not lose heart. Though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. For this slight momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison." 2 Corinthians 4:16-17

I hope you are doing well and trying to stay dry. Its been raining quite a bit here. I'll keep reporting news as it happens around here. Love you lots!!

<3 SJ

August 16, 2012

The Ranger

Sorry I did not write the last few days. I didn't get a chance and I didn't have pen and paper with me. So I spent the last couple of days on Mt. Yonah. We could see Miley Cirus's summer house from there. Its really big and has its own mountain. So the hike up wasn't terrible. Me and F have done harder, faster. It just sucked not being in shape. So the first day our was all climbing and rappelling. I got to lead climb which was fun, and I crushed all the routes. Second day was hard because we had to maneuver a "casualty" to the top. That sucked dragging 250lbs up a mountain and make pulley systems to get people and the weight up. I enjoyed it though cause I learned I can walk and ruck where almost no body else can. Apparently, I'm just a mountain man. Tomorrow or this morning I should say, we start platoon tactics training for our patrol days so pray I pay attention and learn so I can pass patrols. I love you bunches and miss you tons. O hope you write lots of letters because I love hearing from you. It always means a lot. Anyway I have to wrap this letter up cause I only get to sleep 3 hours tonight. 

Love you

His Love

Hey babe-

I officially mailed in our adoption application today! I'm also sending you the announcement pic. Do you love it? Tonight I finally get to tell your parents. I can't wait. We have video recorded everyone's reaction. So far, Aunt M had the best one. She wanted to see the baby....uh we don't have the baby yet...duh. It was really funny. Today was Jacob's last first day of school. He gets out at 1:30 and then we are picking A up and heading to the climbing center. After climbing we will head to your parents for grilled yumminess and the big announcement. I think your mom might cry. 

Okay something more fun. A told me yesterday that Burger King is selling bacon and ice cream sundaes and milkshakes! What a crazy combo. But I thought you might love that. Maybe you could get one on your next pass. 

Keep working hard. Only 5 more weeks. I'm praying really hard for you. Last night was for a positive attitude. That makes hard stuff a little more bearable. You are so strong and God gave you such drive and determination. You will be successful because He called you to be. I love you and I'm so proud of you. Keep focused on all the blessings we have been given throughout the Ranger school journey. :) Please pray for our baby girl and her birth mommy. This next year is going to bring so many changes. I love you sooooo much!!! Everyone misses you.

<3 Sarah Jo

The Ranger (again later that day)

What up Babe,

How are you doing? Today wasn't bad. It was about 4 or 5 hours of classes followed by about 12 hours of practical exercise on the same drill which was great. We should be able to execute it in our sleep now which we probably will be doing on the FTX. One funny thing happened . A lizard climbed on me and hung out on my leg for 5 or 10 minutes. So sad thing happened at the end of the day. Today we got mail, but not me. I was sad. you should write more. I like getting letters here. Anyway, I'll talk to you tomorrow.

Love you

For further reading:

A Ranger and His Love Series:

Week 1                Week 6

        Week 2                Week 7        
Week 3                Week 8
Week 4                Week 9

       Week 5                Week 10      

Week 11

These letters are very candid, and through sharing them, you can take a deep look at our life in 2012. You can read about the behind the scenes emotions and discussions that we have had regarding our biggest revelations and announcements. These letters were our main communications, something not so common anymore. From this unique perspective, you will see how a love can grow deeper and lives can change despite the time spent apart.

 Just a warning, Mike's letters were, at times, written under extreme sleep and food deprivation. Some of the things he says are a little...off. He rambles, gets repetitive at times, and sometimes doesn't use eloquent word choices. Please forgive him and find the humor in his misery.

A New Outlook on Fertility

I woke up Monday morning so excited to start a new week! I had a very special appointment scheduled for 10AM, and I could hardly wait. The appointment was fantastic, and I have soo much to share with you so lets get to it.

First, lets rewind to last week. I went with a dear friend to visit a fertility doctor in Nashville. I was more than happy to support her in this scary process while her hubbie is playing GI Joe is the sand. Now, I will not name this doctor, but I was a little disturbed by the things he told her. I didn't go to medical school, but I pretty sure it is common knowledge that taking a prenatal is a good thing if you are trying to get preggy and food seriously affects your overall health. I won't go any further, but I would not recommend this doctor to anyone. ***If you see a male, fertility specialist in Nashville you are free to email me with any concern.

This appointment caused me to make finding a better approach even more of a priority.  I had been given a link to a possible alternative some months back. At the time, I read all I could find on it, but there just isn't that much available. The reason being there are not that many physicians that practice this alternative. So I did one more internet search to find a physician who practiced it a little closer to home. Long story short, through the grace of God, there is a new office right here in Clarksville that just opened up. There is still only one doctor in all of Tennessee who practices, but he will be traveling to Nashville once a month to see patients. What an amazing blessing!

So what is it?

It is called NaProTechnology, and that stands for Natural Procreative Technology. It is comprised of the medical component, NaProTechnology (NaPRo), which is practiced by an OB/GYN and the educational component, NaProEducation, which is taught and supported by a Fertility Care Practitioner (FCP). It sounds NaProConfusing, but it really isn't.

I will see Mary Vozar for the educational portion right here in Clarksville. She also serves the Nashville/Middle TN area. The medical portion is provided by Dr. Gray. He is an OB/GYN who follows NaProTechnology as his main diagnosis/treatment process in Jackson, TN. Yeah little, bitty Jackson.

So Monday morning I had my first appointment to begin my education. I thoroughly enjoyed the information and discussion. I will be going back every two weeks over the next couple months to learn more and more. I will also be seen by Dr. Gray. I haven't scheduled that yet so I'm not sure when. I'll be sure to let you know.

I'm very excited about this new venture. I am, also, very excited that I can share it with you!!

A Ranger and His Love: Week 11

 After 4 tries, Mike finally passed Darby phase of Ranger school and moved onto Mountain phase. We also announced that we were going to adopt to start our family. Little celebrations and finally two-way communication.

5th Ranger Training Brigade, Attempt #1

August 11, 2012

The Ranger

Hey,

I'm on the bus now about 20 minutes out from mountains. It was only about 2-1/2 hour bus ride out, but it felt good to catch a nap. I hope you are doing good. I really wish I could have talked to you longer yesterday, but it was hard to get anything done. Outside it's starting to look like home, bigger and bigger rolling hills, thicker trees. It's nice, but will definitely suck to walk up.

cont. ,August 12, 2012

Well, today was fun. We repelled and tied knots all day so it really wasn't bad. Plus, we get 3 meals a day for the next couple days. Anyway, I'm trying to get this letter to you soon to tell you i'm in BCO 2PLT 2SQD Roster number "###" So you can make sure your wonderful letters get to me. Anyway I didn't have much to say this time, but next letter is sure to have more. I love you so much.

Mike

August 13, 2012

The Ranger

Hey Babe,

I hope you got my last letter so you can send me mail. It looks like when were not in the field its easier to send mail than at Darby. So if time permits, I can send more letters. It's still the beginning of the day. Temp is probably in the 70s. I don't like it. I'm used to hot so at night I'm freezing. So far, I just finished our know test. Passed it. Tomorrow is our hike up Mt. Yonah so that is going to suck bad from what I hear. So pray I keep up. I love you so much.

August 14, 2012

His Love

Hey Babe!

Do you like my new stationary? It's very chic! I hope you are doing well in the mountains of North GA! I miss you tons and have lots to tell you. First, I forgot to tell you the your cousin is preggos...again. Also ____ is going to be a daddy. You are officially going to be a daddy too! Our family knows. I'm taking video of everyone's reaction for you. I just have to tell MJ and your parents. I'm very anxious to tell your parents. They are going to be thrilled. P reacted funny. He got mad that I wasn't actually preggos. Not in a mean way, just in a "well you should be" way. I didn't blame him. I kinda agree. G is thrilled and my parents were more and more excited as I gave them more info. 

I also went to the ENT toady and I have to have a CT scan Friday. Apparently, there is actually an issue with my sinuses causing the pain in my nose and my headaches. I might need surgery-BOO! 

Anyway, I'm happy with the way God is blessing us with a child. It is the predestined and perfect way. I love you so much and you are already the best daddy. Our little girl's superhero. 

<3

SJ

For further reading:

A Ranger and His Love Series:

Week 1                Week 6

        Week 2                Week 7        
Week 3                Week 8
Week 4                Week 9

       Week 5                Week 10     

These letters are very candid, and through sharing them, you can take a deep look at our life in 2012. You can read about the behind the scenes emotions and discussions that we have had regarding our biggest revelations and announcements. These letters were our main communications, something not so common anymore. From this unique perspective, you will see how a love can grow deeper and lives can change despite the time spent apart.

 Just a warning, Mike's letters were, at times, written under extreme sleep and food deprivation. Some of the things he says are a little...off. He rambles, gets repetitive at times, and sometimes doesn't use eloquent word choices. Please forgive him and find the humor in his misery.

Skinny Fat Kid: A Little (grain free) Granola

It's been several weeks since I told you about my Skinny Fat Kid Challenge. I would like to first clarify a couple of matters that have been brought to my attention, and also share how the challenge is going.

First, I want to make sure that you all understand that I'm not at this to loose weight or achieve some sort of temporary goal. My short term goal is to see if I can heal my body of infertility with food. There is no real scientific proof that I can do this. I have researched on my own and found plenty of evidence that food 100% affects your health. I think this is commonly accepted thought. I have also seen research that suggest that some infertility issues may be the result of diet. This is not proven. I'm not going to share data on these matters because I am not a scientist nor a doctor. I do not want people to think that I am suggesting we can cure infertility, although that would be AWESOME. I'm just trying something different because I am dissatisfied with traditional medical opinion and trying to force my body to do something it should do naturally with things that are not natural. Plus traditional infertility remedies are known to increase risks of cancer and other unwelcome diagnoses.

My long term goal is to live longer than my genetics/blood work says I will. The one thing that I do know is that my genetic disorder is 100% affected by my food choices. If I want to live a long, healthy life, I have to take charge of my health today. I will not die from heart disease that can be prevented. No way! It would be ignorant of me not to make these changes knowing what I know.

So what am I eating?

I eat fruits, veggies, nuts, seeds, grass fed/hormone free animal products and very little of anything else at the moment. I am gluten free, soy free, and almost dairy free. It's pretty extreme, but it has also been a slow transition. The only dairy is a grass fed butter, but I'm about over it. I just don't crave/need it for cooking much. I'm also beginning to limit my animal products all together because animal protein has an enzyme that my body doesn't break down well.

Right before Christmas I severely cut the carbs. I refused all sugar except for my Granny's thumbprint cookies that are my favorite and whatever was cooked for our Christmas dinner. I did not over indulge by any means, and to my surprise I actually lost a few pounds.

When I arrived home from Christmas I quickly cleared my pantry of nearly everything. It's crazy how much junk is in the food we consume. Chucking it all was the best way to prevent eating. Then, I started reading and collecting recipes to try. I spent a lot of money the first two weeks. There were so many staple items that I needed to buy. It was just like when you move and have to buy new everything.

To my amazement, everything I made was delicious. I have learned I'm a good cook. I'm not afraid to try new things or twist a recipe to work with the ingredients I have on hand. I've never had so much fun in the kitchen. And I can eat as much as I want, no portioning needed. Did I mention it tastes amazing?!

What results am I seeing?

WOW!

That would pretty much sum it up. I feel great all the time. I sleep better. I wake up easily. I do not feel drained in the middle of the day. My skin is clearer. My waist and hips are slimmer. I feel lighter. Not to be gross, but I'm never bloated. I feel whole and complete and healthy all over. I started working out regularly again, something I didn't do much last year.

This week I started feeling the normal symptoms of ovulation that I felt while on Clomid. That is the best result so far. Not only do I feel great, but I feel normal. This, of course, does not mean that I am/will ovulate or that my PCOS is gone. However, it is encouraging me to continue this lifestyle change so that I can test my blood work in the near future.

The challenges..

Hi, my name is Sarah and I'm a sugarholic.

Whether we choose to admit it or not, we are addicted to sugar. You too. Yes, you. It is in every single thing we eat. Don't believe me? Start looking at the ingredients listed on your food. Sometimes its hidden in other things or funny words, but its there. My Granny checked her applesauce today because I was telling her about the applesauce I made. The front said "NO SUGAR ADDED" and "All Natural", but the ingredients included Apple Cider. There is sugar in apple cider. We are all sugarholics! Food companies have made us this way.

So I'm breaking an addiction. I'm still getting sugar in some forms. Mike sent me chocolate covered strawberries for Valentine's day, and you better bet I ate some of them. I also shared with some friends. Mike wrote on the note ever so slyly that the strawberries canceled out the chocolate. It was sweet and a total lie, but I complied.

It is really hard to eat this way and maintain a social life. The problem is that our culture is so saturated in the unhealthy. I cannot eat out at restaurants unless I eat a simple salad with no dressing. That is lame and not worth the money, quite frankly. When I go to social events, I generally cannot partake in the food without violating the progress I've made. At the same time, I do not want to be rude to a host/hostess nor do I enjoy the explanation of why I can't eat something. It leaves me in a pickle. I'm learning to quickly answer any questioning with "oh, I have health reasons why I can't" and then change the subject real fast. I don't want to be questioned nor do I want to make others who are eating the unhealthy food feel awkward because they can't get enough of that cake. Sometimes, I just have one bite of whatever it is, compliment the cook, and move on. I'm not going to die from one bite, and it avoids the issue.

My other challenge is eating on the go. I'm cooking all this great food, but what do I eat when I forget to eat and need something asap. Well...its not Wendy's. I learned that the hard way. I left church at 9:30 one night a few weeks ago and felt my blood sugar drop. I had nothing at home, and I decided eating was better than passing out trying to cook. Wrong! I had migraines every morning for nearly a week after. Not worth it. I haven't had anything fast since. My only solution thus far is not forgetting to eat. I know keeping some easy fruit like an apple or some raw almonds on hand is good too.

A little (grain free) granola...

I'm still learning and researching everyday. I'm learning things about farming in our country, how much the FDA actually sucks (please excuse the harsh tone, but they do), and what foods have the best healing components. It is fascinating, challenging, and I love it. It's not for everyone, but it's hard to argue against God's creation. At the moment I'm trying to figure out where the best place is for me to live to have the most access to everything healthy. Apparently, I may be breaking laws going to Kentucky for my yum yums. So far, I'm thinking California or New Jerusalem with Jesus, but I know there has to be another option for the time being. I know it, unfortunately, isn't Georgia. Anyone think I can get Mike to move to Hippieville? Mmm...yeah I didn't think so. Maybe our own farm. Or The Farm??

These are the things I ponder as I get crunchier.

Our rePostable Home: Getting Started

Well I announced this new project, and I feel like I'm totally slacking already. Just to recap, I want to make our house organized so that moving is easy. The title of the project is Our rePostable Home because in the Army we move from post to post. It's a little difficult to get started with an organization project. An entire house can be very overwhelming. Where to start? How to budget? Cupboards, pantries, and closests, Oh My! Its more than enough to scare you away.

Budgeting is hard because each space is different. I don't exactly have that figured out well. I do know that I want to stay as cheap as possible, but rooms like the office are going to cost more if I want it done correctly. We'll figure that out together when I get there. You don't, however, have to buy everything from an organizational store. Shop sales and be on the lookout everywhere you go for something that can be functional (and cheap!) for your home. Also, remember that we aren't organizing the entire house at one time as seen on TV shows. We can spread out small purchases over time that don't empty our wallets. $10 here, $20 there can be very effective. I have several months to finish this project and some of my organizational dreams will have to be put on hold until I save up what I need. It's okay to be realistic. Maybe you organize a space as best as possible and make a list of items that would make it even better when you have the resources. Please don't run up your credit card in hopes to gain control over your home. Your house might look good, but you'll just have more chaos to manage.

Now, our starting point. Pick a spot in your home that is already decently organized and small. Focus on that little area, and hopefully, you can overcome that drowning feeling that we start to get when thinking of the whole house...or the garage or the attic. Ah! Back to that small, more calming space.

I chose our master bath. It has drawer space and a decent amount of storage so I already had it looking okay...well I thought I did. Now looking at the pictures, I'm not so impressed. I went to the Dollar Store to find cheap drawer organizers of some sort. I found little bins that can be hooked together to meet individual drawer needs. I also found some generic plastic baskets that I knew could replace the cute decorative baskets I had hidden under the sink. I know we'll find a use for the baskets elsewhere.

My goal was to place as much as possible into baskets/bins so that when its time to move, we just wrap the bins (that sticky plastic wrap works well), place bins in box, and go. Can it get easier? This will work with items that are nonbreakable/smooshable. So I set out the bins and started sorting. It wasn't too hard. The only problem was the drawers were not wide enough for two bins side-by-side. Total bummer. I should have been smart and measured everything before I went shopping. I'm sure I could have also shopped around more and found something different, but I'm happy with my Dollar Store find. I placed as much as possible in the bins and left the larger items loose in the drawer. The bins minimize the space left so larger items are not moving around much. I also added one more bin to this middle drawer (below) after I took these pictures.

These drawers are stacked on top of each other between the two sinks, a pretty common layout. The area under Mike's sink (not pictured) houses our bathroom linens and extra TP because we do not have a linen closet in our master. I know, huge flaw. With the limited space, I keep a limited number of linens here. With just the two of us, its plenty. Plus, I like doing laundry. Total Freak!

The area below my sink is picture above if you scroll up to before and after. Here's the deal ladies...and men that are not like my husband. I don't collect beauty products. We can be so easily guilty of hoarding everything from hair sprays to mascaras. I put a stop to that habit a few years ago. For one, I don't need 5 curling irons (my hair is naturally curly). Second, no one has space for 5 curling irons. Actually, I don't own a curling iron at all anymore. I went a little extreme that one time, and now I'm in the market for..just one.That's all that will fit in the basket. I know this can be hard, but just try to keep only what you use.

All joking aside, one is enough of each type of product. If I try something new, I do my testing and then pick the better one to keep. When things get old, I dispose of them. I have one basket that holds ALL my hair products and my makeup bag. My makeup bag holds ALL my make up. I have a small bag that also fits in the makeup bag that holds my brushes, a tip I learned from my sister to keep them clean. My makeup bag is not tiny nor is it huge. If you look to the far right image you can see my iPad sitting behind it. It's about that size and 4 inches wide. It holds everything I use daily and enough stuff to get glitzy for a ball.

In all, I spent $7 plus tax at the Dollar Store to completely organize this room. Not too bad. Duchess and Chloe supervised the project for the hour and a half it took to do. I'm going to go ahead and do the guest bath and upstairs linen closet. (watch Facebook for pics) Again less is more in these spaces. They should be simple. Now what to do next???

                                                                                                                  

A Ranger and His Love: Week 10

 
4th Ranger Training Brigade, Attempt #4

July 31, 2012

His Love

Hey Babe,

I hope you are well. I have had king of a rough couple days. The dogs have/had fleas. Hopefully they are gone now. The high grass caused that. I mowed the yard, treated the dogs, and washed them. I also have dealt with the security system, traded one annoyance (the garage door) for another (buzzing panel.) Boo! Hopefully they will have that fixed within 48 hours. And not to be a total downer, but we have a roof leak over the bay window :( I have three contractors lined up for estimates. One is our builder. He actually came by himself to check it out. The damage is minimal so don't freak. We just have to find the source. All in all, Monday was slightly stressful, but I have it all under control. We may have to delay some adoption stuff, but thats okay since really we have to wait for you to be home to get things oving. 

So I hope you are healthy and focused. I've been praying for you A LOT! I pray that you are focused and alert and positive. Don't let negative thoughts hold you captive in a tough situation. I also pray that God gives you His strength and that you accept it humbly. I'll keep praying! I can't wait to talk to you!!  I love you to the moon!!!

<3

SJ

"Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you,yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." -Isaiah 41:10

"Though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ." -2 Corinthians 10:3-5

For further reading:

A Ranger and His Love Series:

Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4 

Week 5 

Week 6

Week 7

 Week 8

Week 9

These letters are very candid, and through sharing them, you can take a deep look at our life in 2012. You can read about the behind the scenes emotions and discussions that we have had regarding our biggest revelations and announcements. These letters were our main communications, something not so common anymore. From this unique perspective, you will see how a love can grow deeper and lives can change despite the time spent apart.

 Just a warning, Mike's letters were, at times, written under extreme sleep and food deprivation. Some of the things he says are a little...off. He rambles, gets repetitive at times, and sometimes doesn't use eloquent word choices. Please forgive him and find the humor in his misery.

My Deployment Project

Every deployment deserves some well defined goals. Setting goals and working toward them is a common way that many military spouses keep their routines, move forward each day, and well, simply destract themselves from the realities of seperation. I'm a big fan of this tactic. Not only is it good for keeping busy, but hopefully, goals are achieved and daily life improves. Many wives get fit, lose weight, learn to better manage their lives, or simply become more social with other spouses.

Last year, while dear hubbie was suffering in Ranger school, I set out to learn how to sew. It was fun, creative, and productive. And now I am able to make clothing to sell. I set a fun goal and now it is paying off. I was able to not only fill my days with something fun and pass the time while he was away, I learned a new skill that is continuing to better my life. Deployments can be a great time for self improvement.

Well, this deployment I've had a different goal in the back of my mind, and I'm glad to say it is time to get down to business. We are already a third of the way done. I better hurry up. My goal this year is to turn my house into the Container Store! Okay, that may be extreme. What I want to do is create easy efficient organization in as many areas of my home as possible. My dearest friends are thinking, "um...SJ your house is organized." I know, the lack of kids does have a small perk. Also, my personality type doesn't allow for disfunction, but there is a bigger picture that needs to be understood to really follow my logic.

Last week we received news that really intensifies the need for my deployment project. We're PCSing! (civi-talk: Permanent Change of Station - the Army is moving us.) Is that big enough?

Let's not get ahead of ourselves. One big important detail - We have 15 months left in our current home. I was really shocked that we found out the move date so far in advance. I new it was coming, and my timeframe estimate was pretty accurate. I must be learning the to think like the Army, but usually the Army isn't so forthcoming with details.

So May 2014 will send us to a new house to organize and make home for a short time. When I say short, I mean short. We will be in the next home for only 6 months before moving again.  Hopefully, you are starting to see the need for extreme organization.

The simple fact is that a military family moves....a lot. Mike and I are in our 5th home. We've been married 5 years, and we have actually lived here for 20 months. This is our longest stay yet. We need a home that is ready to move at all times. That is percisely what I'm setting out to achieve.  It will not be easy, but it will be on a budget and will be completed....before we move.

Please follow along as I create Our rePostable Home.

A Ranger and His Love: Week 9

 

 

On June 29th, I received a call from Mike. He had completed RAP week and done well. However, he had injured his back somewhere on one of the courses. Friday morning, June 29th, he made a wise decision to report the injury and go to sit call. He spent the day getting x-rays and speaking with the PAs and a doctor. He needed to heal before he could move forward with the course. He allowed some time to rest and then assigned small tasks each day while he waited for the next class to start. We were able to talk on the phone every day. He spent his 26th birthday alone at Ranger school. I also made a weekend trip to Fort Benning during this time so we could make a decision about adoption. He did not have to repeat RAP week so his 4th attempt at Ranger school began on July 26, 2012

 

  4th Training Brigade, Attempt #4

 

July 26, 2012

His Love

Hey Babe-

Well today was your first day back. I hope it went okay. I;m in the middle of mowing the yard. The grass is kicking the mowers butt. Its not acting right. I hope it keeps working. Today I also hung the new sheers in the kitchen (they look awesome), took our adoption pics, applied for 8 jobs, and will finish the yard before sunset...hopefully. I'm sure you did way more than me before I even woke up. I also have done more research and found an agency (largest in US) that I feel good about. 

The Olympics start tomorrow night. I'm going to try to watch while I babysit H & D. Oh, they had to start some events early and there was a bug screw up. Women's socccer...When N. Korea was about to play, they displayed S. Korea's flag and the team stormed off the field. oops!! I love you bunches.

<3SJ  

 

 

July 28, 2012

His Love

Hey Babe- 

I'm so exhausted from last night. I kept H & D by myself for 4 hours. We can't have kids that close in age. D had to be held the entire time, but refused the wrap. And, unfortunately, H isn't quite old enough to feed herself. Overall it went well, but man it was tough. I tried to catch the opening ceremonies of the Olympics, but that was hard. It kinda sucked. Everone on FB is saying Beijing was way better. The cool part was the torch at the end. You'll have to YouTube that. Oh and China's flag bearer was like 7 feet tall. Ha! In other news, Chik-fil-A "hates" gay thing is still everywhere. Aug. 1st is now Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day as per Mike Huckabee. If you love CFA you are suppose to eat it that day. I will comply. Crazy thing though...FB shut down their page for a while. Its getting ugly and so intolerant.

Well I have been praying for you lots. Today's prayers are focused on your mental health, but I always pray for you back. Just consider this a trial and trials are opportunities to show our faith and trust God. "Consider is a great joy"

I love you to the moon!

<3 SJ   

 

I also drew this picture on the back with the caption, "I miss babysitting together. It's much easier."

 

  

For further reading:

A Ranger and His Love Series:
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Week 4 

Week 5 

Week 6

Week 7

 Week 8

These letters are very candid, and through sharing them, you can take a deep look at our life in 2012. You can read about the behind the scenes emotions and discussions that we have had regarding our biggest revelations and announcements. These letters were our main communications, something not so common anymore. From this unique perspective, you will see how a love can grow deeper and lives can change despite the time spent apart.

Just a warning, Mike's letters were, at times, written under extreme sleep and food deprivation. Some of the things he says are a little...off. He rambles, gets repetitive at times, and sometimes doesn't use eloquent word choices. Please forgive him and find the humor in his misery.

The Call

Something amazing happened in early January. I wanted so badly to share. You may remember me asking for prayer on Proulxville's Facebook page. Here is why....

January 7th, I was cooking breakfast and taking care of 3 dogs (my two and the Blue Heeler stray) when my phone announced "DROID." Everyone hated that I never changed that, but I looked forward to that sound in the morning...must be Mike saying hello.

Well, it wasn't Mike. I look at my phone and could not believe what I was reading. This was the message:

"Sarah Jo I just got this message....Baby boy to be born early Feb. Mom wants closed adoption. Would be direct private...take custody at hospital. Message or call asap for details!! (Going to be born in Calhoun County Alabama)"

My heart leaped into my throat. Anniston!?!! I can't really explain the emotion of a first call regarding a potential adoption. I wasn't ready for it. I had come to an understanding with God that this would take longer than we thought. And this baby was not through our agency. Could we really find an adoptable child without the assistance of an agency? And to be born in the same hospital as Mike?! And the same hospital that both of our moms (and basically half our family) was born in?!! Was this real? We could be surrounded by family instead of potentially on the other side of the country alone. Amazing!!

Of course, I immediately responded and the woman who had the information contacted me within about ten minutes. What a crazy and absolutely amazing moment!

Without giving details, I will have to say that now this potential adoption is very unlikely to move forward. The baby is due this week. It was, of course, disappointing, but I will never question a mom's desire to parent. I understand that emotion and need. I know all our Calhoun County family probably jumped for joy a couple paragraphs ago, but maybe there will be another opportunity.

Regardless, we know that God is faithful, and it is very clear that He is at work. To receive a call from a person I have never met, who thought of us first I might add, is beyond divine. Our story is spreading and those of you out there sharing it are joining us on this journey. Your love and prayers are more meaningful than we could possibly express.

I just wanted to share the update as I know many of you are anxious to see us become parents. This event placed us one step closer for a moment and is surely to happen again. We so look forward to the next call.