I am not usually one to blog about whatever current event might be happening in the world. I'm of the thought that there are others on the blogiverse that are far more talented than I. They can share their thoughts and I will read and say yes that's exactly how I feel. I do not want to bombard you with what you are already seeing everywhere else.
However, since I talk about adoption, I feel that this is an appropriate forum for today's rant. President Putin must not be a man of character. Until a few days ago, I didn't know nor care who the president of Russia was, but today I see clearly that his choices speak loud and clear to the nature of his being. He has signed law that closes the doors on adoptions from Russia to the United States. His reasonings are irrelevant to the issue of orphans and adoption policy. This decision has disrupted the homes of many adoptive families across our country.
The Department of State is attempting to ensure that adoptions that are currently in process will be completely. I'd say they won't have much input in the matter. Russian officials have yet to define the details of their new law or give light to where the line will end. If they have integrity they will allow current matches to be completed. My heart breaks for these families that are living out this week in fear.
Adoption has risks. We fear that a birth mother will change her mind, or that a court might not approve an adoption. There are lots of tears, both of joy and sadness, through the entire process. Today these families have anxiety because they do not yet know which tears to cry.
To think a nation would use un-related political issues to decide the fate of young children is cruel. My heart pleas for these sweet children that will be left without families to love and care for them. I heard on Fox News yesterday that over 700,000 children are in orphanages in Russia but only 18,000 Russian families are willing to adopt at this time. I pray that will change. I pray the good people of Russia will step up and care for their orphans. I pray that their government makes their adoption process swift and efficient and affordable. If I don't pray these things for these children then I'm left with questions. What will these children do? Will they be loved? Cared for? Will they ever hold the hand of a mommy or daddy and say "lets go home"?
Click here to follow updates from the Bureau of Consular Affairs regarding this topic.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
My Skinny Fat Kid Challenge
Some of you may be gravitating toward my blog posts in search for answers to your own infertility. That's amazing, and I hope that you can find comfort knowing that you are not alone. As I learn more, question more, and dig deeper into my infertility, it is becoming clear that it is connected to so many other parts of my health. I am finding that it is bigger than just my reproductive failures. I have serious life changes that need to take place in order to ensure a happy, healthy life where I have the ability to keep up with my future children and my wild, man-child husband.
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional and what I discuss below is simply my own observation of my personal diagnosis and how I am combating it. Please do not use this information for your own health, but rather seek advice from your doctors. I do hope, however, that you may find something that you would like to take to your doctor for discussion.
Quite a while back, I wrote about the diagnosis that changed everything this year. It is the reason we pursued fertility treatment and why we ultimately have chosen to follow God's path to adoption. However, I never really followed up with details about how those results have changed my daily life forever. As mention previously, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and Methylenetetrahydrofolate Reductase (MTHFR) c677t heterozygous gene mutation. These items cause problems in the reproductive system, but also can affect your longevity due to other complications.
I changed parts of my diet, like no more coffee...ever, and began a crazy vitamin supplementation routine for the MTHFR. I also tried Clomid for the PCOS. These small changes were a great starting point as I learned more about what is going on in my body, but I knew it wasn't enough. We still were not pregnant. At the same time, I really didn't know where to go next for more information.
I stumbled upon a few more answers while visiting the doctor, imagine that. I needed to see my internist to get adoption papers filled out saying I'm in good enough health to raise a child. Crazy, right?! Anyway, while in the office they asked about new medication, new diagnosis, etc. I told them about all my supplements, and I updated them on my fertility trials. When I told them about the MTHFR, they questioned me, "who diagnosed this?" "Well my OB, of course. Who else would do that?" They were a little surprised.
It turns out, my internist office has been testing for and studying patients with this gene mutation because of its effects on the entire health of an individual. WOW! I should have gone to get a physical in the last four years...oops. So anyway, they added me to the list and ran a huge panel of tests to get a better picture of my health. I went back a couple weeks later for all the results.
Turns out....I'm morbidly obese, all 108 pounds of me (10 of which came from Clomid and won't go away). I know what you are thinking. There is no way. I don't think a typical doctor would say that either, but blood work doesn't lie....does it? When I was a teenager, a nurse told me I was what they called "a skinny fat kid." No, I guess the blood work doesn't lie.
Apparently, my insides are bad....very bad. In fact, the blood work is comparable to the results of an obese individual. It is all related to the MTHFR and PCOS. Now that part, not so surprising.
The panel tested for my cholesterol, lipids, triglycerides, homocysteine, insulin, glucose, and the list of medical terms went on and on. Three pages to be exact. Here is what I learned:
1. Don't worry about my cholesterol. Hot dog! At 243, it is actually lower than when I was 12, but the cool thing is my good versus bad is okay. I certainly need to consider it in order to make sure it doesn't get bad, but I'm okay right now. This is a little different than what doctors were saying a few years ago. They are learning that genetics plays a bigger role in this than diet for a lot of patients, and they have to consider the little details not just the big number. This is becoming a little more common thought these days.
2. Don't eat hot dogs. Boo! I really am not a huge hot dog eater. Really, I have to make sure that I stick to healthy fats and skip the rest. This is because my body doesn't metabolize fats. I know that sounds yucky. I'm still not 100% understanding this one, but I'll go with it for now. I do know that low fat pre-made foods aren't the correct way to attack this.
3. Stay away from high homocysteine foods. Homocysteine is the amino acid that my body cannot break down due to the gene mutation. Foods high in homocysteine are mostly those high in animal protein. Red meats, poultry, dairy, fish. One of the worst items....COFFEE. Not sure why, but its extremely high. Lucky me, I didn't have a coffee addiction. For others, this could be rough. Now my levels are normal so I can eat animal protein, but it will be limited and mostly fish because I need my omegas.
4. Go back on Vitamin D. I went off Vitamin D3 supplements when I was trying to get pregnant (the bottle says to), but I need it again. Unless you like to lay buck naked in the snow through the winter to get it naturally, you should take it too. Almost everyone is deficient. I also read that it may help lower your bad cholesterol....couldn't hurt.
5. Never take Plavix. This one is random, but I'm glad I know. This will cause me to bleed to death in a matter of minutes. CRAZY!! I had to tell my family, and I might as well share with the entire world. Please don't kill let the doctors kill me if I'm ever incapacitated and in need of blood thinners. This is a little scary because the gene mutation cause me to be prone to blood clots and so I could need blood thinners (other than the baby aspirin I take daily) someday.
6. I'm obese. This is based on a combination of my free fatty acid level (.88) and a Apolipoprotein E Genotype of 3/4. Basically, I don't metabolize fat too well. Again, avoid the bad fat.
7. Don't quite my supplements. My nutritionist put me on massive doses. I take 3 huge fish oil pills a day, a regular multivitamin (prenatal are not beneficial because my body doesn't absorb the folic acid), B-12, B-150 (complex Bs), baby aspirin, and a special ordered 5-MTHF active folic acid (the only kind my body can absorb.) When I go off these vitamins, my brain gets dumb. I can't think straight. I'm fatigued all the time. It's just yucky. I have to take most of this because my body doesn't absorb high enough levels from the food I eat all because of the MTHFR. Fun. Please seek the advice of your doctor and nutritionist before beginning any supplementation.
8. Don't eat pasta like I'm prepping for a marathon. Okay now my PA was just getting plain mean. I'm a have my carbs and eat them too kinda gal. I grew up a swimmer and carbohydrates were the main food group. Maybe that's my problem.
This part is a little complicated. My insulin is high at 11. Not too terrible, but not good. Your insulin levels have to increase in order to combat too many carbohydrates. Many of you probably understand the basic connection between carbs and diabetics. Diabetics can't eat carbs because as they are burned, the glucose in their bodies goes through the roof. In my case, my glucose is fine right now, though at times, it has been crazy low (hypoglycemic.) My insulin is too high from constant eating of carbs. I'm still not fully understanding how the insulin is high and glucose is low. What I do know is with PCOS, high levels of insulin leads to Type II diabetes down the road. In fact, some people theorize that the increased levels of insulin could be the cause of PCOS altogether. This is not proven, but I'd like to test the theory.
So I'm going to cut the carbs starting January 1. I guess you could call it a New Year's Resolution. I want to stick to a super low carb, healthy fat diet for three months and then retest everything. I want to see if my diet can change my obese insides. I'm also going to retest my ovulation and see if there is any change there too. I will continue all my supplements adding the vitamin D3. If it works, this will be my new life. If it doesn't, this will probably be my new life anyway. The simple fact is, I don't want to become a diabetic or develop heart disease if avoiding sweets and pasta will prevent it. It may not be easy, but I've got good motivation.
My skinny fat kid challenge = The Paleo Diet
I'm not a huge fan of diets or of New Year's Resolutions. It probably stems from my distaste for failing. If I don't try, I won't fail. Not the most optimistic logic. However, this year I'm going for it. Full Paleo beginning January 1. I will blog my challenge (its only 90 days), but I promise not to turn this into a Paleo blog. There are plenty out there already. I will share links and cool observations along the way.
If you have a great reason to join me, that would be way cool. Do you have fertility issues that can be improved by diet, possibly? Bad skin? A hereditary risk for heart disease? Oh, how about a few extra pounds from the holidays? All of these could be great reasons to join me for a 3 month challenge. Just a little sneak peak, I lost a couple pounds over the holidays just by kinda trying to avoid the Paleo no, nos. I wasn't trying to lose the weight, but I love the idea of kicking Clomid's butt to the curb for good. Those two pounds made for a great start.
Please comment below if you accept the challenge and tell me why!!
Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional and what I discuss below is simply my own observation of my personal diagnosis and how I am combating it. Please do not use this information for your own health, but rather seek advice from your doctors. I do hope, however, that you may find something that you would like to take to your doctor for discussion.
Quite a while back, I wrote about the diagnosis that changed everything this year. It is the reason we pursued fertility treatment and why we ultimately have chosen to follow God's path to adoption. However, I never really followed up with details about how those results have changed my daily life forever. As mention previously, I was diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and Methylenetetrahydrofolate Reductase (MTHFR) c677t heterozygous gene mutation. These items cause problems in the reproductive system, but also can affect your longevity due to other complications.
I changed parts of my diet, like no more coffee...ever, and began a crazy vitamin supplementation routine for the MTHFR. I also tried Clomid for the PCOS. These small changes were a great starting point as I learned more about what is going on in my body, but I knew it wasn't enough. We still were not pregnant. At the same time, I really didn't know where to go next for more information.
I stumbled upon a few more answers while visiting the doctor, imagine that. I needed to see my internist to get adoption papers filled out saying I'm in good enough health to raise a child. Crazy, right?! Anyway, while in the office they asked about new medication, new diagnosis, etc. I told them about all my supplements, and I updated them on my fertility trials. When I told them about the MTHFR, they questioned me, "who diagnosed this?" "Well my OB, of course. Who else would do that?" They were a little surprised.
It turns out, my internist office has been testing for and studying patients with this gene mutation because of its effects on the entire health of an individual. WOW! I should have gone to get a physical in the last four years...oops. So anyway, they added me to the list and ran a huge panel of tests to get a better picture of my health. I went back a couple weeks later for all the results.
Turns out....I'm morbidly obese, all 108 pounds of me (10 of which came from Clomid and won't go away). I know what you are thinking. There is no way. I don't think a typical doctor would say that either, but blood work doesn't lie....does it? When I was a teenager, a nurse told me I was what they called "a skinny fat kid." No, I guess the blood work doesn't lie.
Apparently, my insides are bad....very bad. In fact, the blood work is comparable to the results of an obese individual. It is all related to the MTHFR and PCOS. Now that part, not so surprising.
The panel tested for my cholesterol, lipids, triglycerides, homocysteine, insulin, glucose, and the list of medical terms went on and on. Three pages to be exact. Here is what I learned:
1. Don't worry about my cholesterol. Hot dog! At 243, it is actually lower than when I was 12, but the cool thing is my good versus bad is okay. I certainly need to consider it in order to make sure it doesn't get bad, but I'm okay right now. This is a little different than what doctors were saying a few years ago. They are learning that genetics plays a bigger role in this than diet for a lot of patients, and they have to consider the little details not just the big number. This is becoming a little more common thought these days.
2. Don't eat hot dogs. Boo! I really am not a huge hot dog eater. Really, I have to make sure that I stick to healthy fats and skip the rest. This is because my body doesn't metabolize fats. I know that sounds yucky. I'm still not 100% understanding this one, but I'll go with it for now. I do know that low fat pre-made foods aren't the correct way to attack this.
3. Stay away from high homocysteine foods. Homocysteine is the amino acid that my body cannot break down due to the gene mutation. Foods high in homocysteine are mostly those high in animal protein. Red meats, poultry, dairy, fish. One of the worst items....COFFEE. Not sure why, but its extremely high. Lucky me, I didn't have a coffee addiction. For others, this could be rough. Now my levels are normal so I can eat animal protein, but it will be limited and mostly fish because I need my omegas.
4. Go back on Vitamin D. I went off Vitamin D3 supplements when I was trying to get pregnant (the bottle says to), but I need it again. Unless you like to lay buck naked in the snow through the winter to get it naturally, you should take it too. Almost everyone is deficient. I also read that it may help lower your bad cholesterol....couldn't hurt.
5. Never take Plavix. This one is random, but I'm glad I know. This will cause me to bleed to death in a matter of minutes. CRAZY!! I had to tell my family, and I might as well share with the entire world. Please don't kill let the doctors kill me if I'm ever incapacitated and in need of blood thinners. This is a little scary because the gene mutation cause me to be prone to blood clots and so I could need blood thinners (other than the baby aspirin I take daily) someday.
6. I'm obese. This is based on a combination of my free fatty acid level (.88) and a Apolipoprotein E Genotype of 3/4. Basically, I don't metabolize fat too well. Again, avoid the bad fat.
7. Don't quite my supplements. My nutritionist put me on massive doses. I take 3 huge fish oil pills a day, a regular multivitamin (prenatal are not beneficial because my body doesn't absorb the folic acid), B-12, B-150 (complex Bs), baby aspirin, and a special ordered 5-MTHF active folic acid (the only kind my body can absorb.) When I go off these vitamins, my brain gets dumb. I can't think straight. I'm fatigued all the time. It's just yucky. I have to take most of this because my body doesn't absorb high enough levels from the food I eat all because of the MTHFR. Fun. Please seek the advice of your doctor and nutritionist before beginning any supplementation.
8. Don't eat pasta like I'm prepping for a marathon. Okay now my PA was just getting plain mean. I'm a have my carbs and eat them too kinda gal. I grew up a swimmer and carbohydrates were the main food group. Maybe that's my problem.
This part is a little complicated. My insulin is high at 11. Not too terrible, but not good. Your insulin levels have to increase in order to combat too many carbohydrates. Many of you probably understand the basic connection between carbs and diabetics. Diabetics can't eat carbs because as they are burned, the glucose in their bodies goes through the roof. In my case, my glucose is fine right now, though at times, it has been crazy low (hypoglycemic.) My insulin is too high from constant eating of carbs. I'm still not fully understanding how the insulin is high and glucose is low. What I do know is with PCOS, high levels of insulin leads to Type II diabetes down the road. In fact, some people theorize that the increased levels of insulin could be the cause of PCOS altogether. This is not proven, but I'd like to test the theory.
So I'm going to cut the carbs starting January 1. I guess you could call it a New Year's Resolution. I want to stick to a super low carb, healthy fat diet for three months and then retest everything. I want to see if my diet can change my obese insides. I'm also going to retest my ovulation and see if there is any change there too. I will continue all my supplements adding the vitamin D3. If it works, this will be my new life. If it doesn't, this will probably be my new life anyway. The simple fact is, I don't want to become a diabetic or develop heart disease if avoiding sweets and pasta will prevent it. It may not be easy, but I've got good motivation.
My skinny fat kid challenge = The Paleo Diet
I'm not a huge fan of diets or of New Year's Resolutions. It probably stems from my distaste for failing. If I don't try, I won't fail. Not the most optimistic logic. However, this year I'm going for it. Full Paleo beginning January 1. I will blog my challenge (its only 90 days), but I promise not to turn this into a Paleo blog. There are plenty out there already. I will share links and cool observations along the way.
If you have a great reason to join me, that would be way cool. Do you have fertility issues that can be improved by diet, possibly? Bad skin? A hereditary risk for heart disease? Oh, how about a few extra pounds from the holidays? All of these could be great reasons to join me for a 3 month challenge. Just a little sneak peak, I lost a couple pounds over the holidays just by kinda trying to avoid the Paleo no, nos. I wasn't trying to lose the weight, but I love the idea of kicking Clomid's butt to the curb for good. Those two pounds made for a great start.
Please comment below if you accept the challenge and tell me why!!
Friday, December 28, 2012
A Ranger and His Love: Week 4
Welcome back! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas surrounded by those you love. I just got back last night, and I've been putting away everything and attempting to start back my normal routine. I need to go to the grocery store, but I'm currently waiting on the security system guy. Our thermostat that is connected to the alarm seems to have a mind of its own and must be cold blooded.
Okay back to the letters. These are two of my favorite letters. Valentine's Day!
These letters are very candid, and through sharing them, you can take a deep look at our life in 2012. You can read about the behind the scenes emotions and discussions that we have had regarding our biggest revelations and announcements. These letters were our main communications, something not so common anymore. From this unique perspective, you will see how a love can grow deeper and lives can change despite the time spent apart.
Just a warning, Mike's letters were, at times, written under extreme sleep and food deprivation. Some of the things he says are a little...off. He rambles, gets repetitive at times, and sometimes doesn't use eloquent word choices. Please forgive him and find the humor in his misery.
4th Training Brigade
I stood in the kitchen and cried when I opened this special package. Its the first time he has ever given me something heartfelt. He picked this up on pass the Saturday following Valentine's Day after he had failed the first round of Ranger school. This symbol of prayer would be a continued theme for the rest of the year.
A Ranger and His Love Series:
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Okay back to the letters. These are two of my favorite letters. Valentine's Day!
These letters are very candid, and through sharing them, you can take a deep look at our life in 2012. You can read about the behind the scenes emotions and discussions that we have had regarding our biggest revelations and announcements. These letters were our main communications, something not so common anymore. From this unique perspective, you will see how a love can grow deeper and lives can change despite the time spent apart.
Just a warning, Mike's letters were, at times, written under extreme sleep and food deprivation. Some of the things he says are a little...off. He rambles, gets repetitive at times, and sometimes doesn't use eloquent word choices. Please forgive him and find the humor in his misery.
4th Training Brigade
February 14, 2012
His Love
Babe-
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!! I love you so much! I got the best present this morning....Letters from You!!! It made me so, so happy. You wrote them 7-10 days ago, but late is better than never. I was starting to think I wasn't going to get any. I don't think you're getting my letters, but we get to talk in a few days! I'm praying for you to pass. And I keep praying for you to be warm and healthy. I'm currently fighting a little sinus thing. I"m not really sick, but more annoyed at night when I'm trying to sleep....I haven't heard much from Joe. I've fed him a few times. He is supposed to have a girl visit him this weekend but....he may go home. I will be at home this weekend when you call. My mom is having another procedure and me and my dad will be there this time (oh and the dogs too!) Okay so this mail situation....I called the staff duty desk and got the first address and I told them the link was broken online. I didn't want to tell them who I belonged to at all so not to get you in trouble. I started writing you on Day 1. I'm sorry I didn't send you a care package. This mail thing just makes me feel like you might not get it. In the future, I'll send anything you request. Oh, I may go to Destin for Spring Break!! J and T will be there March 5th-9th so M and I may go too. G will leave that week for JRTC so we'll see. I told them about Chaplain K. M says, "he's the bomb." :) I'm glad you went to service. I've been learning a lot from God lately. Talked to your dad today. They want to send you mail too, so hopefully we get it figured out. Memere's house should be done when I go to visit. Your dad says its looking good. Okay running out of paper here. I love you and miss you so much. I can't wait for you to see your Valentine's Day present!! talk to you soon.
<3 SJ
February 18, 2012
The Ranger
Hey Babe,
I hope this makes you smile. I love you. Happy Valentine's day. Look at the figure. This is probably our pregnancy problem, and its my fault. I'm working on it.
Love,
Mike
I stood in the kitchen and cried when I opened this special package. Its the first time he has ever given me something heartfelt. He picked this up on pass the Saturday following Valentine's Day after he had failed the first round of Ranger school. This symbol of prayer would be a continued theme for the rest of the year.
A Ranger and His Love Series:
Week 1
Week 2
Week 3
Friday, December 21, 2012
A Ranger and His Love: Week 3
Just a warning, Mike's letters were, at times, written under extreme sleep and food deprivation. Some of the things he says are a little...off. He rambles, gets repetitive at times, and sometimes doesn't use eloquent word choices. Please forgive him and find the humor in his misery.
4th Training Brigade
February 8, 2012
His Love
Hey Babe-
Do you love this card!?! Haha. I found it in my stationary box and thought it might make you smile. I also found these old "we moved" post cards and thought you might like a picture of the Bug. I think she misses you. Chloe loves sleeping on your side of the bed. I keep checking the mail box. Nothing yet so I'm kinda sad. I'm thinking though that it probably means you haven't gotten my letters either. Okay...Really, I'm starting to feel lonely and seriously miss you. I'd say I've done pretty good. I made it 27 days. And you are halfway through phase 1 today! Woohoo!! I'm feeling really stressed because of this doctor's appointment coming up in a couple weeks. I just want to get it over with already. Please pray for me and of course I'll keep praying for you. Oh I went to Bible study at church today. It was great....I'm staying busy as much as possible. Ok - running out of room. Send me a list of items needed so I can mail it next week. I know 550 cord is on the list. LOVE YOU TO THE MOON.
<3 SJ
 | |||||
| This is the card sent. |
 |
| Ellie Bug |
February 10, 2012
The Ranger
Hey Babe,
How have you been? Today we did our basic airborne refresher training. It wasn't bad. We sleep minimum 6 hours tonight because we jump tomorrow. So I'm looking forward to that. Bad news is its really cooling off out now. But one week til my 8 hour pass and I can call you. I can't wait. I've already made a list of what I want to eat and do over the break. So far my list is do laundry, Taco Johns, Coffee, IHOP, refit at Commandos, Pizza, Hibachi, and Pastry. What do you think about that? I definitely think its doable. When we do eat, I don't get full. Ranger School is just always being sleepy and hungry, which gets old. But the cold is what really gets me, that and missing you. So how are things at work and with the dogs? I miss them too. Is Joe still bumming food off ya while I'm gone?
Oh hey, any update of T's situation. I hope he gets to come back. How are G and M doing? Is G nervous about his deployment?
So how are you holding up without me? I want to first time go everything not because I want out of here, but because I get to see you sooner. So only 4 patrol days of this phase left and a few days of BS. Then I find out if I recycle or go to mountains. I love you and I'll see you on the other side of Ranger school.
Love,
Mike
A Ranger and His Love Series:
Week 1
Week 2
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Mental Combat
This past week, I haven't been able to write. I know that everyone get writer's block sometimes. I started several posts. Maybe they will be good to use in the near future...if I can finish them. They may get scrapped. They were good practice if nothing else, I guess. The real problem was not my inability to write. Rather, it was my mind playing distracting games. I wasn't focused. I was off the path, lost.
Recently, I began discussing our adoption journey. I do want to continue giving details of the process, but today I want to jump to now, the current, the pressing issue that veered me into some dark woods last week.
Over Thanksgiving, I was home with my parents. One night, my rear end parked on the couch, my mother sat down with me and wanted to ask about the adoption. My family is still learning the "appropriate" adoption language and so the questions sometimes seem....odd. However, my mom raised a really good point and made a seemingly great suggestion. Adoption costs are expensive (as I have previously discussed) and so my mom was brainstorming ways to lessen the burdens that an adoption can cause.
She asked me, "have you, or did you and Mike, consider fostering?" Wow, I wasn't expecting that question. "Yes," I replied, "but we are young and the kids who need homes are much older. It just didn't seem appropriate." My answer seemed simple enough to understand.
When we began researching adoption, we had to consider what type of adoption we would want to pursue. We decided against foster to adopt because we knew that we wanted a baby. That was that. Going further, we are going to be first time parents. We need some experience before jumping into the teenage years. Even going through the adoption education, I told Mike I didn't like to think that far ahead right now. For one, I'll be "old" and two, we don't even have a baby to hold yet. I didn't want to picture a full grown teenager. Talk about them growing up too fast.
But then my mom told me that there are a lot of babies that go straight to foster homes from the hospital. She is right, there are. She sees them come into the doctor's office all the time. I did a little digging, and found that maybe we could pursue fostering while we raised our adoption support. Who knows, maybe we would be able to adopt a child from the state. We might even be able to save a lot of money and move on to adoption number two more quickly. That could be a huge blessing. It was exciting to think about the possibilities.
So I finally got around to calling DCS (Department of Children Services) last week. I called three different numbers before being able to leave a message. Then I had to wait. During the waiting, I got a little depressed. Okay....maybe it was a lot depressed. For two or three days, I finally mourned my reproductive failures. I cried a lot. I'm a big cry baby so that part isn't surprising. What really made me upset was that I started to believe lies about myself. Things I knew were untrue, but they stabbed so deep I didn't have the strength for mental combat.
"you're broken" "you'll never be a real mother" "you've disappointed your husband"
It was bad. Admitting this now is still emotionally difficult, but I know better. I am equipped with the truth. I know that I have been broken and made humbled before the Lord so that I can be used for His will and purpose. I will bring joy to my children. I have been blessed because my husband loves and respects me.
I vented in an email to Mike, and he wrote back reassuring his love for me. "i dont understand why this process is going to be so hard for us but there is a reason and God will show it to us one day" I love my husband, and his poor grammar skills.
So I pressed forward. These low, mental moments are those that we all have to get through when facing challenges. I spoke with several people from the state this week and learned that fostering (now called resource parenting) isn't in the cards for us. Mostly because Mike is deployed. I'm not allowed to foster on my own because I am married even though single people do it all the time. It is a government run agency so there is no fighting it. It is what it is.
It was a rough week, but the Word packs a punch. I'm glad that I know we are living out the life we were meant for. I just have to look at this as God making firm the steps we have taken with our adoption agency. He is building the confidence that we need to fulfill His purpose and to make sure that we take care of the children he planned for us.
Recently, I began discussing our adoption journey. I do want to continue giving details of the process, but today I want to jump to now, the current, the pressing issue that veered me into some dark woods last week.
Over Thanksgiving, I was home with my parents. One night, my rear end parked on the couch, my mother sat down with me and wanted to ask about the adoption. My family is still learning the "appropriate" adoption language and so the questions sometimes seem....odd. However, my mom raised a really good point and made a seemingly great suggestion. Adoption costs are expensive (as I have previously discussed) and so my mom was brainstorming ways to lessen the burdens that an adoption can cause.
She asked me, "have you, or did you and Mike, consider fostering?" Wow, I wasn't expecting that question. "Yes," I replied, "but we are young and the kids who need homes are much older. It just didn't seem appropriate." My answer seemed simple enough to understand.
When we began researching adoption, we had to consider what type of adoption we would want to pursue. We decided against foster to adopt because we knew that we wanted a baby. That was that. Going further, we are going to be first time parents. We need some experience before jumping into the teenage years. Even going through the adoption education, I told Mike I didn't like to think that far ahead right now. For one, I'll be "old" and two, we don't even have a baby to hold yet. I didn't want to picture a full grown teenager. Talk about them growing up too fast.
But then my mom told me that there are a lot of babies that go straight to foster homes from the hospital. She is right, there are. She sees them come into the doctor's office all the time. I did a little digging, and found that maybe we could pursue fostering while we raised our adoption support. Who knows, maybe we would be able to adopt a child from the state. We might even be able to save a lot of money and move on to adoption number two more quickly. That could be a huge blessing. It was exciting to think about the possibilities.
So I finally got around to calling DCS (Department of Children Services) last week. I called three different numbers before being able to leave a message. Then I had to wait. During the waiting, I got a little depressed. Okay....maybe it was a lot depressed. For two or three days, I finally mourned my reproductive failures. I cried a lot. I'm a big cry baby so that part isn't surprising. What really made me upset was that I started to believe lies about myself. Things I knew were untrue, but they stabbed so deep I didn't have the strength for mental combat.
"you're broken" "you'll never be a real mother" "you've disappointed your husband"
It was bad. Admitting this now is still emotionally difficult, but I know better. I am equipped with the truth. I know that I have been broken and made humbled before the Lord so that I can be used for His will and purpose. I will bring joy to my children. I have been blessed because my husband loves and respects me.
I vented in an email to Mike, and he wrote back reassuring his love for me. "i dont understand why this process is going to be so hard for us but there is a reason and God will show it to us one day" I love my husband, and his poor grammar skills.
So I pressed forward. These low, mental moments are those that we all have to get through when facing challenges. I spoke with several people from the state this week and learned that fostering (now called resource parenting) isn't in the cards for us. Mostly because Mike is deployed. I'm not allowed to foster on my own because I am married even though single people do it all the time. It is a government run agency so there is no fighting it. It is what it is.
It was a rough week, but the Word packs a punch. I'm glad that I know we are living out the life we were meant for. I just have to look at this as God making firm the steps we have taken with our adoption agency. He is building the confidence that we need to fulfill His purpose and to make sure that we take care of the children he planned for us.
Saturday, December 15, 2012
Christmas Cards...So Easy Everyone Should Do It
I was talking to a friend the other day about how no one sends Christmas cards anymore. I really only get about ten a year. It's sad because I remember as a kid taping them up everywhere, across the mantel, around the door frames in the living room, on top of the piano. It seemed like we never had room, there were sooo many. My dear friend said that our parents generation has stopped sending cards. Facebook allows you to keep up with everyone. Hmm...I don't know about that. Very few "friends" on Facebook receive any cards from me. Not everyone is on there, and I don't really keep up with many of those people anyway. I may be a part of the Facebook generation, but I'm not consumed by it. I like snail mail. I love stationary. And I really love the Christmas card tradition.
I'm getting my Christmas cards ready to mail this morning. They finally arrived yesterday afternoon. I'll admit I'm a little behind, but they normally arrive from the printer at the beginning of December. While sitting at my desk putting them together, I started thinking about how easy and efficient I've made this process. I know a lot of people dread stuffing and licking envelopes. Yuck! No wonder people don't take the time. But I actually enjoy and look forward to this because I've made it sooo easy. I like it so much that I love to send other cards throughout the year too!!
Here are my tricks:
1. Groupon rocks! Watch the sale sites like Groupon for great deals on super cute printed cards and announcements. I NEVER pay full price for my cards. This year the grand total was $20 for 75 holiday cards. Winner!! When we announced we were adopting, I worked the vistaprint website and got 350 double-side printed cards and printed envelopes for $30!!!!
2. Take cute pictures all year long. I'm guilty of failing on this front. We don't take many good pictures. Partially, because Mike is never here. Also, its just us. Babies are way cuter than grown ups. I do try, but we have terrible lighting and yucky tan walls in our house soo...maybe someday we'll have a great pic. I'm sure you can be much better at this than me.
3. Don't hand write all the addresses... Actually, don't write anything at all. Make sure you have everything you want to say printed so that you don't even have to sign the card. I mean unless you really like hand cramps and carpal tunnel.
Because we move so much, I order cute return address labels that I can use on everything. I got 200 labels for $4 on Vistaprint last year. I don't use them on bills (who mails in bills these days anyway) so they have lasted. If we were not in the Army I would invest in a stamp. When its not an added cost, I have my return address printed. So fast!
Now for mailing addresses, I have my written address book (outdated), my excel file, and now my word file. In Microsoft word, I have created a file so I can print the address on cute, clear labels. The clear labels (Avery #18660 for template #5160) look great on any color envelope....except black. I know that this printing label thing is nothing new. My trick is that I have my addresses in a priority order. I began with my family and closest circle who would ALWAYS receive every card/announcement I send. Then, I worked my way to acquaintances and those that would only receive my mass announcements, like the adoption. This helps me to be able to print only the names that I need. Save the file on your external, keep forever, and update as needed. Could not be easier.
4. Equip yourself for the task. Make sure you have everything you need before you get started. Labels printed, envelopes ready, stamps purchased. I also love to use my little envelope glue moistener. You can pick one up from Wal-Mart or an office supply store for a couple bucks. If you don't have one, use the corner of a sponge or even an old wash cloth from the linen closet.
5. Line it up like an assembly line. Gathering everything only takes a moment and organizing it into a line takes about 30 seconds.
6. Turn on the TV. Oh yeah, put on your favorite show or better yet a Christmas movie. You've got everything organized so your hands can work and your brain doesn't have to.
When I set everything up like this, I can get it all done in about 30 minutes. Plenty of time left over for some popcorn or a glass of wine. Very little effort. Hardest thing is walking to the mailbox.
I'm getting my Christmas cards ready to mail this morning. They finally arrived yesterday afternoon. I'll admit I'm a little behind, but they normally arrive from the printer at the beginning of December. While sitting at my desk putting them together, I started thinking about how easy and efficient I've made this process. I know a lot of people dread stuffing and licking envelopes. Yuck! No wonder people don't take the time. But I actually enjoy and look forward to this because I've made it sooo easy. I like it so much that I love to send other cards throughout the year too!!
Here are my tricks:
1. Groupon rocks! Watch the sale sites like Groupon for great deals on super cute printed cards and announcements. I NEVER pay full price for my cards. This year the grand total was $20 for 75 holiday cards. Winner!! When we announced we were adopting, I worked the vistaprint website and got 350 double-side printed cards and printed envelopes for $30!!!!
2. Take cute pictures all year long. I'm guilty of failing on this front. We don't take many good pictures. Partially, because Mike is never here. Also, its just us. Babies are way cuter than grown ups. I do try, but we have terrible lighting and yucky tan walls in our house soo...maybe someday we'll have a great pic. I'm sure you can be much better at this than me.
3. Don't hand write all the addresses... Actually, don't write anything at all. Make sure you have everything you want to say printed so that you don't even have to sign the card. I mean unless you really like hand cramps and carpal tunnel.
Because we move so much, I order cute return address labels that I can use on everything. I got 200 labels for $4 on Vistaprint last year. I don't use them on bills (who mails in bills these days anyway) so they have lasted. If we were not in the Army I would invest in a stamp. When its not an added cost, I have my return address printed. So fast!
Now for mailing addresses, I have my written address book (outdated), my excel file, and now my word file. In Microsoft word, I have created a file so I can print the address on cute, clear labels. The clear labels (Avery #18660 for template #5160) look great on any color envelope....except black. I know that this printing label thing is nothing new. My trick is that I have my addresses in a priority order. I began with my family and closest circle who would ALWAYS receive every card/announcement I send. Then, I worked my way to acquaintances and those that would only receive my mass announcements, like the adoption. This helps me to be able to print only the names that I need. Save the file on your external, keep forever, and update as needed. Could not be easier.
4. Equip yourself for the task. Make sure you have everything you need before you get started. Labels printed, envelopes ready, stamps purchased. I also love to use my little envelope glue moistener. You can pick one up from Wal-Mart or an office supply store for a couple bucks. If you don't have one, use the corner of a sponge or even an old wash cloth from the linen closet.
5. Line it up like an assembly line. Gathering everything only takes a moment and organizing it into a line takes about 30 seconds.
6. Turn on the TV. Oh yeah, put on your favorite show or better yet a Christmas movie. You've got everything organized so your hands can work and your brain doesn't have to.
When I set everything up like this, I can get it all done in about 30 minutes. Plenty of time left over for some popcorn or a glass of wine. Very little effort. Hardest thing is walking to the mailbox.
Friday, December 14, 2012
A Ranger and His Love: Week 2
We started this new series, and I hope that you enjoy it. These letters are very candid, and through sharing them, you can really take a deep look at our life in 2012. You can read about the behind the scenes emotions and discussions that we have had regarding our biggest revelations and announcements. These letters were our main communications, something not so common anymore. From this unique perspective, you will see how a love can grow deeper and lives can change despite the time spent apart.
Just a warning, Mike's letters were, at times, written under extreme sleep and food deprivation. Some of the things he says are a little...off. He rambles, gets repetitive at times, and sometimes doesn't use eloquent word choices. Please forgive him and find the humor in his misery.
4th Training Brigade
Just a warning, Mike's letters were, at times, written under extreme sleep and food deprivation. Some of the things he says are a little...off. He rambles, gets repetitive at times, and sometimes doesn't use eloquent word choices. Please forgive him and find the humor in his misery.
4th Training Brigade
February 5, 2012
His Love
Mike,
I hope you are doing well and staying warm. I miss you bunches. It's Sunday night (Super Bowl Sunday.) I DVR-ed the game for you, and I'm not watching it. We can watch it together later and enjoy the commercials. I didn't get an invite so I assume everyone is doing their own thing tonight.
My weekend...I started Friday night by having a jewelry party. I picked out my Valentine's present!! You did real good babe...a pretty right hand ring. It should arrive in a couple weeks.
Saturaday, I made cute Valentine's Day onesies for Hallie Grace. They are so cute and everyone thinks I should sell them. You would be really impressed. Did I tell you I finished the kitchen drapes? They look good too. This week I also made a new blog (Stitched GReek) to sell letter shirts from. I thought you might like to hear that this hobby could pay for itself. Saturday night I watched a bunch of Duggar reruns. I by no means want 19 kids, but I think we can learn a lot about raising Godly children with great character from watching their show. Such an amazing family.
This morning I went to church. Our pastor finally finished his series on Ephesians 6 (Armor of God.) It was good. I would like for us to attend their new members weekend when you are able. they are starting a Wednesday morning women's Bible study this week. I'm thinking of going so I can meet some women and make new friends at church.
Last bit of news this week, I made the infertility appointment. It will be on Feb. 22nd. Please pray for me. I'm getting really worried and stressed about it. My stomach has been hurting and I can't eat. To be honest, I'm scared...
Well I'm praying for you constantly. I can't wait to hear from you. I hope you are staying warm and healthy. The groundhog said 6 more weeks of winter...I don't know if I believe him. It has been warm here. I love you so, so much. Stay strong and lean on God for encouragement and perseverance.
<3 SJ
February 6, 2012
The Ranger
Hey Babe,
I love and miss you so much. Right now I'm on guard standing over a burn barrel freezing. It's okay though. Only a few more nights until I get a decent night's sleep...I think. So we are looking forward until the next 3 or 4 nights are over....
February 7, 2012
Well its the afternoon. On a mission now. I'm the RTO so I just farting around with this radio, not a bad job to have. Chances are you will get this letter after I have already called you, but whatever. I'm bored and trying to stay awake. So how are things going on your end?
My average day is 0430: Wake up. 0500: We start mission planning. 0930 - 1200: Brief order for mission. 1200 - 1215: Eat. 1300 - 2300: Conduct mission. 2300 - 0100: Clean weapons out in the cold. 0100 - 0130: Eat 0230 - 0430: sleep with a guard shift in the middle. That's my schedule for like 8 or 9 days. Then we sleep, then we jump, then we do for another 4 days, then we clean, then 8 hours pass. The next few days might be worse because we are about to start graded patrols. That can be rough when we start being graded. Still though, its a lot better here than pre-ranger, which is cool. I'm just so cold all the time which is gay.
So how you doin? The dogs miss me yet? Is Joe a sad puppy without me? Oh I forgot to tell you there is a 44 year old LTC in my squad. How nuts is that?! A 44 year old made it through RAP week. I didn't think RAP week was all that hard though, but whatever. It still sucked. I'm soo cold all the time. It sucks. And you don't get used to it because your outside all the time. You're just cold.
Anyway, I love you, and I'll update you again soon.
Love,
Friday, December 7, 2012
A Ranger and His Love Series - Week 1
Its not hard to imagine the love letters that have been shared between a soldier and his love throughout history. Mike and I have been exchanging these letters for years, and while Mike was in Ranger school we decided that we would share them with you all when he was finished. Most of our communication in 2012 was through these letters. That may be shocking, but when you soldier goes to Ranger school, snail mail is the only way. You go back in time. They practice Vietnam style combat, and we (wives and girlfriends) get to practice Vietnam era communication techniques.
I love writing letters. I'm a big fan of beautiful stationary. I have a collection. Discount stationary is a shopping weakness. Because of my love of writing, I have been writing lovey dovey scribble since Mike was in ROTC in college. He actually wrote back one letter in a romantic, confederate style just for fun. Those of you that know Mike are shocked, right? We have quite a collection, and we store these letters in a bird cage that was used to collect cards at our wedding.
As I was saying, we want to share this mushiness with you just for giggles. Some parts are silly and funny, others heart felt, and still others Army lingo boredom. I apologize for the boring parts. If you are about to go to Ranger school, you might value those sections. We will start at the beginning, and only omit the subject matter that is personally identifying of others, Army sensitive, or just plain private. This series will be posted on RED Friday, that is Remember Everyone Deployed every Friday. When you start your weekend, they are still working. So here goes....
4th Training Brigade, Attempt #1
I love writing letters. I'm a big fan of beautiful stationary. I have a collection. Discount stationary is a shopping weakness. Because of my love of writing, I have been writing lovey dovey scribble since Mike was in ROTC in college. He actually wrote back one letter in a romantic, confederate style just for fun. Those of you that know Mike are shocked, right? We have quite a collection, and we store these letters in a bird cage that was used to collect cards at our wedding.
As I was saying, we want to share this mushiness with you just for giggles. Some parts are silly and funny, others heart felt, and still others Army lingo boredom. I apologize for the boring parts. If you are about to go to Ranger school, you might value those sections. We will start at the beginning, and only omit the subject matter that is personally identifying of others, Army sensitive, or just plain private. This series will be posted on RED Friday, that is Remember Everyone Deployed every Friday. When you start your weekend, they are still working. So here goes....
4th Training Brigade, Attempt #1
January 29, 2012 - Report to Ranger school
His Love
Hey Babe-
I hope you are holding up okay. T told me what company you started out in so I decided to write just because. I had a pretty relaxing day. I needed a day by myself. I also worked on our taxes. We're still waiting on a couple documents and then we'll be done. Easy! Well keep up all your hard work. Ellie, Chloe, and I are waiting on you. Love you!!!
<3 SJ
January 30, 2012
His Love
Hey Babe!
I know I'm getting way ahead with the letter writing, but I have things to tell you. First, I love you. You are so strong, and I need your strength! I mean that both figuratively and literally...haha. Yesterday, I got the jeep key stuck in the ignition. Oops! I just wanted to back up a few feet and move the jeep over (G kind of parked towards the center of the driveway.) Anyway, I couldn't move the seat up, couldn't take the E-brake off, and then got the key stuck. I thought it would be simple. J couldn't fix it either. I'm going to call G. J couldn't get the E-brake either so....Other news. Less funny. More serious...Please pray for him....
Keep up the good work. I'm praying for you. Have you beat that cold yet? Love you
<3 SJ
February 1, 2012
His Love
Hey Babe-
Well it's Day 3 "RAP" and no call!! It seems slightly odd to be happy to not hear from you, but I'm glad cause that means you're doing well. Things are going pretty good here, I guess. I was four days late so I was freaking out last night thinking for sure I was pregnant after I started puking! Turns out it was bad crab. I'm in the process of getting my doctor's appointment so hopefully I'll have news on the baby front during your pass when we talk. My Wednesday/Friday kids are still terrible. I kicked two out today. I feel like I failed them, but I did the right thing. I finished the kitchen drapes yesterday. I've also been doing great things with our budget so we won't have to worry about re-supply between phases. I love you bunches and I'm praying.
<3 SJ
February 4, 2012
The Ranger
Hey Babe,
I'm soo sorry it took so long to write this. I haven't really had the free time to, and when its time to sleep, we kinda just pass out. So anyway, i miss you everyday; I love you so much. Ranger school so far isn't bad. At this point Pre-Ranger was harder. I know it will pick up soon though...
So I can't get a straight answer on how you can send me mail. They keep saying its on the website so if you look it up, I'm in B Company. How is work going? Oh tell G and M I met Chaplain K and went to his service in the field. It was a great break and time to re-focus. I'm doing good, just hungry and missing you. I love you so much.
Love,
Mike
Thursday, December 6, 2012
Our Adoption Story: The Beginning
I have committed to sharing our journey to baby and also about adoption in general, but I haven't really begun to explain our adoption story. In actuality, that story is also our journey to baby, but I feel like some details were overlooked. When we announced we were adopting, most people skipped to the end, thinking we were currently bringing home a baby. We have received "congratulations on bring home baby" cards and even some gifts. Unfortunately, that assumption was not correct, but maybe its my fault for not explaining. Maybe these details need to be spoken in order for all to understand where we are right now.
The Beginning
We did begin our journey almost three years ago, when we decided to forgo the traditional birth control pill and allow God to shape our family. Now looking back I understand that this should have been our method from the beginning of our marriage, but society gets us all off track sometimes. I can't beat myself up. I have asked for God's forgiveness and moved on. It obviously didn't work seeing as how we still don't have a baby so we moved on to medical help in January 2012. In March, I posted test results that changed my life and so began sharing the challenges that we faced. On July 12th, my doctor spoke simply and kindly about the reality surrounding my conditions. She was soft spoken, sympathetic, and willing to do whatever we wanted, but in the end she had nothing else to offer. We were at a crossroads. I could still get pregnant if God chose that path, but so far he hadn't. It had been two and a half years. We had faith that God wanted us to be parents as soon as possible, but it wasn't happening.
I visited Mike in Ft. Benning the following Saturday. We sat in the hotel room and talked and cried. We discussed what my doctor had told me, and I told Mike, "it's time." You see, we had already made this decision. For me, it seems like this decision was made as a child. I can't remember a time when I didn't feel like it wouldn't be a part of my life someday. I can't quite explain that. It wasn't something I ever talked about or researched when I was young. I just knew. God knew. And so as we sought help from doctors to explain why we had not gotten pregnant, we agreed in January that if simple medicine would not help, we would be parents anyway. We would adopt.
"Faith is a living, bold trust in God's grace, so certain of God's favor that it would risk death a thousand times trusting in it. Such confidence and knowledge of God's grace makes you happy, joyful and bold in your relationship to God and all creatures." -Martin Luther
On that Saturday, our tears of sadness became those of joy. We were overwhelmed with a sense of excitement and renewed strength. We knew we were following God's will for our life and for our future children's lives. And so we began a new journey to baby.
It is amazing the change that has come with this announcement. I can't explain the level of happiness that we feel. We aren't saddened by negative tests. I'm not sure that I want to experience becoming a mommy any other way than the one that God chose for me. I'm at peace with that. I don't long for it any longer. Instead my heart is set on a love that Christ alone will give.
"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18
We did begin our journey almost three years ago, when we decided to forgo the traditional birth control pill and allow God to shape our family. Now looking back I understand that this should have been our method from the beginning of our marriage, but society gets us all off track sometimes. I can't beat myself up. I have asked for God's forgiveness and moved on. It obviously didn't work seeing as how we still don't have a baby so we moved on to medical help in January 2012. In March, I posted test results that changed my life and so began sharing the challenges that we faced. On July 12th, my doctor spoke simply and kindly about the reality surrounding my conditions. She was soft spoken, sympathetic, and willing to do whatever we wanted, but in the end she had nothing else to offer. We were at a crossroads. I could still get pregnant if God chose that path, but so far he hadn't. It had been two and a half years. We had faith that God wanted us to be parents as soon as possible, but it wasn't happening.
I visited Mike in Ft. Benning the following Saturday. We sat in the hotel room and talked and cried. We discussed what my doctor had told me, and I told Mike, "it's time." You see, we had already made this decision. For me, it seems like this decision was made as a child. I can't remember a time when I didn't feel like it wouldn't be a part of my life someday. I can't quite explain that. It wasn't something I ever talked about or researched when I was young. I just knew. God knew. And so as we sought help from doctors to explain why we had not gotten pregnant, we agreed in January that if simple medicine would not help, we would be parents anyway. We would adopt.
"Faith is a living, bold trust in God's grace, so certain of God's favor that it would risk death a thousand times trusting in it. Such confidence and knowledge of God's grace makes you happy, joyful and bold in your relationship to God and all creatures." -Martin Luther
On that Saturday, our tears of sadness became those of joy. We were overwhelmed with a sense of excitement and renewed strength. We knew we were following God's will for our life and for our future children's lives. And so we began a new journey to baby.
It is amazing the change that has come with this announcement. I can't explain the level of happiness that we feel. We aren't saddened by negative tests. I'm not sure that I want to experience becoming a mommy any other way than the one that God chose for me. I'm at peace with that. I don't long for it any longer. Instead my heart is set on a love that Christ alone will give.
"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." John 14:18
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Looking Backward to See Forward
My world has been a little hectic lately, and I fear I missed a great opportunity. It seems I've been far too preoccupied with others to have time for myself or my accomplishments. I hardly had time to jump on today and publish a post that has been written for weeks. Where is my brain and my focus these days? Oh yeah...the Army happened. Well anyway, may I please take a moment to say what should have been said a few weeks ago. I apologize for my tardiness.
November 16th was Proulxville's 1st Birthday! I may be a little late and slightly self-centered for the moment, but I would like to pat myself on the back just a bit. A year of writing to you all. An entire year of spilling my guts, it seems. I had to look back over the year of blogging. When I spoke of a "delightful journey" on November 16, 2011, I'm not sure I knew what I was getting myself into. I had committed to keeping others informed of the happenings in our household for a purely personal reason. I wanted our family and friends who can't live in town with us to feel connected. I wanted to nurture relationships so that we didn't lose touch with those we love all over the world. I didn't intend on allowing the blog to get so up close and personal and...vulnerable.
But that is what friendship is, right? I was reminded by a dear friend recently that a true friendship, a fellowship that is real and deep, is a vulnerable place to be. You spill everything to a friend who you know will be there to love and support you, who can sympathize with everyday life that demands to be lived. It's a trust and love that should be nurtured and protected. If it is, then that scary vulnerability is a place we may feel safe. We find a happiness and joy that makes having a best friend an amazing blessing. This true friendship is only found a few times in life, with a parent maybe, a spouse hopefully, and on special occasion a best friend or two.
I'm finding though that the more honest and open I am about life, the more meaningful it becomes. I have more deep friendships with some pretty amazing women. I have a growing openness with my family that is not so common these days. And my marriage is the type of relationship that God intended, again quite rare. I'm learning that every time I speak openly about my life others relate and respond positively. And although it may seem I could be on the edge of a cliff at times with this honesty, my faith keeps me firm on solid ground despite the risk.
So, although I intended this blog to be for close family and friends, it isn't exactly for the family and friends that I had. Instead it is becoming for the family and friends I am gaining along the way. Through the trials of the last year, I have met new friends (some I love as family now) that needed to hear what I have written. They needed to know they weren't alone, and quite frankly, I needed them to hear so I knew I wasn't alone either. I have learned that a blog is more than a memoir. It can be a resource for learning and educating, for empowering, and for advocating. I'm not sure exactly where I'm headed with this blog. Unfortunately, I can't see the future, but I know I want to keep moving forward. I want to keep sharing, spilling my guts. Not holding back.
So Happy Belated Birthday Proulxville. May the next year of blogging help me to dig deeper into this life God planned for me and give of myself to those who have need to hear His love.
November 16th was Proulxville's 1st Birthday! I may be a little late and slightly self-centered for the moment, but I would like to pat myself on the back just a bit. A year of writing to you all. An entire year of spilling my guts, it seems. I had to look back over the year of blogging. When I spoke of a "delightful journey" on November 16, 2011, I'm not sure I knew what I was getting myself into. I had committed to keeping others informed of the happenings in our household for a purely personal reason. I wanted our family and friends who can't live in town with us to feel connected. I wanted to nurture relationships so that we didn't lose touch with those we love all over the world. I didn't intend on allowing the blog to get so up close and personal and...vulnerable.
But that is what friendship is, right? I was reminded by a dear friend recently that a true friendship, a fellowship that is real and deep, is a vulnerable place to be. You spill everything to a friend who you know will be there to love and support you, who can sympathize with everyday life that demands to be lived. It's a trust and love that should be nurtured and protected. If it is, then that scary vulnerability is a place we may feel safe. We find a happiness and joy that makes having a best friend an amazing blessing. This true friendship is only found a few times in life, with a parent maybe, a spouse hopefully, and on special occasion a best friend or two.
I'm finding though that the more honest and open I am about life, the more meaningful it becomes. I have more deep friendships with some pretty amazing women. I have a growing openness with my family that is not so common these days. And my marriage is the type of relationship that God intended, again quite rare. I'm learning that every time I speak openly about my life others relate and respond positively. And although it may seem I could be on the edge of a cliff at times with this honesty, my faith keeps me firm on solid ground despite the risk.
So, although I intended this blog to be for close family and friends, it isn't exactly for the family and friends that I had. Instead it is becoming for the family and friends I am gaining along the way. Through the trials of the last year, I have met new friends (some I love as family now) that needed to hear what I have written. They needed to know they weren't alone, and quite frankly, I needed them to hear so I knew I wasn't alone either. I have learned that a blog is more than a memoir. It can be a resource for learning and educating, for empowering, and for advocating. I'm not sure exactly where I'm headed with this blog. Unfortunately, I can't see the future, but I know I want to keep moving forward. I want to keep sharing, spilling my guts. Not holding back.
So Happy Belated Birthday Proulxville. May the next year of blogging help me to dig deeper into this life God planned for me and give of myself to those who have need to hear His love.
Let the Memories Begin: Day Two 10.15.12
This morning we headed to my second favorite park, the Animal Kingdom. It was amazing. Today was a cool, overcast day which is perfect for viewing wild animals.
We saw Nala, Siemba, Rajah, Sirkan, Pumpa and Timon, Dumbo... on the safari ride alone.
The animals were so active because of the weather. A four year old chimp swung all over her play area and the gorillas walked around to different viewing areas posing for the camera...like in Madagascar. I've never seen that before at a zoo. Usually the gorillas sit with their backs to people.
My favorite was the elephants taking a bath. They were so cute. There were two calves in the middle of the adults. Again, it's absolutely amazing to witness these animals up close and personal. Sorry for lack of pictures...baby brother has them.
Of course we road all the exciting rides too.
Now we may be all grown up, but we still need to take a nap between parks like when we were young. We couldn't even make it back to the resort.
After our nap, we headed to my favorite park, Epcot! We arrived with just enough time to ride the Spaceship Earth (I did not participate. It makes me sick to think about it.) and Living with the Land before eating dinner at the Garden Grill. Character meals are thebomb.com and the all you can eat, family style meal at the Garden Grill cannot be beat. Yum!
Well, for now this is the end of the Disney recap. Depending on an 18 year old to deliver your family vaca pictures is not recommended. I thought it would be so easy. What was I thinking? If I ever get those pics, I'll do an update.
We did have two more days of awesome, Disney magical fun. We went to the Magic Kingdom (video above) and Epcot again, one each day, and enjoyed every bit of it. Epcot was my favorite, of course, with its annual Food & Wine Festival. More yumminess. The only thing that would have made the entire trip better was sharing it all with Mike. Lucky for me though I flew from Orlando to Ft. Benning and My Ranger picked me up from the airport...with a little help from his dad. Best memory to end this trip.
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| Fam in front of the "Tree of Life" |
We saw Nala, Siemba, Rajah, Sirkan, Pumpa and Timon, Dumbo... on the safari ride alone.
The animals were so active because of the weather. A four year old chimp swung all over her play area and the gorillas walked around to different viewing areas posing for the camera...like in Madagascar. I've never seen that before at a zoo. Usually the gorillas sit with their backs to people.
My favorite was the elephants taking a bath. They were so cute. There were two calves in the middle of the adults. Again, it's absolutely amazing to witness these animals up close and personal. Sorry for lack of pictures...baby brother has them.
Of course we road all the exciting rides too.
Now we may be all grown up, but we still need to take a nap between parks like when we were young. We couldn't even make it back to the resort.
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| Tired Kiddos |
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| Baby Sis and Me - In front of Epcot...where's the golf ball? |
After our nap, we headed to my favorite park, Epcot! We arrived with just enough time to ride the Spaceship Earth (I did not participate. It makes me sick to think about it.) and Living with the Land before eating dinner at the Garden Grill. Character meals are thebomb.com and the all you can eat, family style meal at the Garden Grill cannot be beat. Yum!
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| Mickey and Me and some Mac & Cheese |
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| What a happy family! |
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| All you can eat = Miserably full bellies |
Well, for now this is the end of the Disney recap. Depending on an 18 year old to deliver your family vaca pictures is not recommended. I thought it would be so easy. What was I thinking? If I ever get those pics, I'll do an update.
We did have two more days of awesome, Disney magical fun. We went to the Magic Kingdom (video above) and Epcot again, one each day, and enjoyed every bit of it. Epcot was my favorite, of course, with its annual Food & Wine Festival. More yumminess. The only thing that would have made the entire trip better was sharing it all with Mike. Lucky for me though I flew from Orlando to Ft. Benning and My Ranger picked me up from the airport...with a little help from his dad. Best memory to end this trip.
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