The Things of Fairy Tales

I'm literally crying tears of joy tonight. You may be wondering why...or thinking man this girl cries a lot. The cause of this moisture on my cheeks is because I'm blessed to have arguably the best marriage on the planet.

We are nearing the end, and I haven't spoken really about the deployment. There are times when it is difficult, and I would give anything to have Mike walk in the house like he always does when I'm cooking dinner. I want him to place his lunch box on the counter and PT bag on the floor so he can give me a big hug, like he always does when he is home. There have been moments when I wished he could have held my hand while I endured more fertility trials or hold me while I cried because I still am not a mother. Life is tough and deployments make those unpleasant days, well...worse to say the least.

In the midst of a deployment though, I'm on cloud 9. I can sit here tonight and pretend that those fireworks booming outside are celebrating our love. After all, true love should be celebrated. And though we are separated by 7,000 miles, half a world apart we are so incredibly happy.

Mike and I have been discussing a lot of things lately through email (our main form of communication and quite an improvement since Ranger school, don't you think?!). Among many things, we share words of affirmation for one another. We have learned how to accurately communicate love. I wish we could bottle what we have and give it away, like some sort of love potion for the brokenhearted. Or simply tell you about every little thing that helps us. Communicating love is but one item of our "Best Marriage Gotta Have" list.

Maybe, someday, we can share more details of our marriage with others. It most likely will not come in the form of a magic potion, although a Disney princess wouldn't have it any other way. We have weathered our fair share of storms and have been faced with challenges that only God saved us from. Despite it all, what we have is a storybook romance that is growing more beautiful and intricate everyday.

Prince Charming wears a horrid shade of green and this princess looks like Cinderella in need of a fairy godmother most days, but I know that fairy tales really do come true because of our story. It brings me such joy to know that we are living....

happily ever after.

More Than a Number: Finding Love and Support Through Infertility

We are riding the ebbs and flow in this ocean of infertility. There have been times when I felt I was hanging onto the life vest of hope and others where I'm sinking to the ocean floor, real low points emotionally. Along the way, I am meeting new people and seeing God place each person on the path to walk with me for the time they are needed. Some of them do not even realize the impact they are providing, like the guy at the hospital registration desk that smiled and said, "you are going to make a great mom, I can see it in you." or the lady who congratulated me today that I did not have to return for more ultrasounds but could move forward in this journey. What absolute jewels. Though they only walked with me for brief moments, they make the journey bearable. I feel so blessed by their kind, sincere words.

And unfortunately, there are so many times that we, as "barren" women, can feel as though we are just being pushed through the lab. Got her blood work done, "NEXT!" Sometimes its simple lack of a conversation because they know why you are there. Its difficult for some to know what to say to us sometimes and that just leaves the awkward silence hanging. If your in this battle, I'm sure you've been there.

Despite those moments of difficult interaction that leave me emotionally void, there have been many, many more wonderfully encouraging people around me lately. They certainly deserve some praise.

First, my Nurse Mary who is educating me on the woman's reproductive system and truly acting as a second mom right now. She goes far over and beyond her duties as a Creighton Model educator. She checks in on me regularly to see how I am doing in every aspect of this journey. I feel so blessed to have her, and I will continue to cherish her. It is through her that I am also learning that NaProTechnology and the Creighton Model Method are a calling to those who serve in its ever-growing community. Your life and success matter to everyone involved.

That brings me to Dr. Gray. I think I can truly say that he is the most caring and compassionate physician I have ever met. He believes very strongly in the practice of NaProTechnology and it's benefits in the women's health arena, and he works very diligently to proceed with each case individually. You are not a patient number and file. You are a woman, a mother, and a sister in Christ. He cares for your well-being physically, mentally, and spiritually. Not only that, his staff reciprocates that same practice and care. I have talked with them daily lately, and I can sometimes hear him in the background (probably between patients) jumping into the conversation to check on me too. What amazing people God has put in my life!

It is very uplifting in the face of these challenges to be surrounded by those who truly care and want to walk this road with you. I believe that God places those with us when we need them. I think the part that makes this so much more special is that I know the spiritual beliefs of those that are guiding me in the medical decisions. I know with absolute certainty that this factor is the leading cause of their nurturing hearts. God's love is able to overflow from them and onto the patience they see. Not only that, I have faith that I am walking in the path that God has led me to. I feel obedient to His will because they are also being obedient to the calling He has placed on them. How could I possibly be in the wrong place with my fertility?

If you wish to be more than a number, I encourage you to look into NaProTechnology. Even if there is not an educator or physician in your area, they work with patients from many distances. After driving across the state to attend my last visit with Dr. Gray, my mother (who has worked in the medical field for 25+ years) said, "you have found a doctor worth driving for. There are not many of them out there."

Home Projects Galore

So I have been gone lately from our virtual Proulxville, but I have not been lazy. I have been working on several things around the house, and I have more projects in the works. This afternoon I bought another plant. I've been doing a lot of that lately. This one is suppose to keep the mosquitoes away. I've also been doing a lot of sacrificing my blood to the mosquitoes lately too. I decided to sit on the back porch by this fancy geranium while I write to you all and test this keeping the bugs at bay theory. I've also been doing a whole lot of natural testing, but we'll save that for another time.

First and foremost, I had a job. Actually, I had two. The latter job I quit, but the first one affords me a summer break must like a teaching job. That would be because it revolves around the school calendar. It will start back up in the fall, but for now I'm free again. I enjoy working to a certain extent. I like having a purpose for most of my days. Having a part time job helps me to have something outside of the home and a little extra spending cash. However, I do not like it to interfere with my life. That may sound petty, and I do not wish to offend any woman who chooses to work full time. To each their own. I was once on a career path myself. However, I have come to appreciate keeping my home. So long story short, last week I quit the job that was interfering.

That job kept me away from you all, but it did not keep me from working around the house some. My rePostable home project will be starting again....next week I've decided. Please give me a few days to complete something and post about it.

I have successfully built and planted a 100% organic vegetable garden. The weather has been crazy cool this year so planting from seed was not really a good option. I found this wonderful nursery in Arizona to purchase seedlings from. For those of you who know me personally, you may know this is my second attempt at having a garden. So far it is going infinitely better than the last time. I can't wait to see what kind of harvest we are able to have. I'll be sure to post pictures.

I've also worked on the outside appearance and curb appeal on our home. I'm working on trying to get grass to grow in the yard, thanks to the help of TruGreen. I'd like to say I was DIYing it, but lets face it, I'm lucky the garden and flowers are doing as well as they are. So far the yard is weed free and a nice deep green. I'd like to see new grass growing, but that will not happen until the fall. Speaking of flowers, I just keep coming home with more. I have gradually brought home several items and arranged them neatly in planters on the front porch. My favorite is the hydrangea mostly because that is my favorite flower in general, but also because I've wanted to plant them since we moved here and couldn't due to lack of shade. Second fav is the hostas for the same reason. So I worked around the no shade thing, bought partial sun varieties, and put them on the front porch where they are mostly protected. I'm also quite proud of my turquoise flower pot DIY. I took a flower pot I bought when we were first married and gave it a quick 30 minute face lift. Tonight I hung our street number on one of the columns because no one can find our house and a flagpole. Now we can properly show off our patriotism this summer.

Inside I've done a bit of decorating. I searched for months for this little table to go by my DIY armchair. I'm so thrilled I had the patience to wait for it. I had almost bought three other tables, but kept on waiting for something better with a smaller price tag. Add a cute pillow and some fake flowers (hydrangeas again), and we have one super cute entryway/bay window. Best part is you can see it as you walk up to the house. Love to be cute inside and out!

Last, I've been demoing a bit in our kitchen. I know we bought a brand new house, but that doesn't mean I can't make it better. So far I have ripped out the baseboards (oh yeah I'm strong) and taken everything off the walls. After my kitchen was naked, I filled in all the holes with spackling. These holes also included some large places from an over-sized puppy. I finished sanding the last few spots today so now its off to the paint store so I can paint and be ready for my handyman to come in and do the part that requires power tools. Being a fan of DIY, I would like to think I could handle this project all by myself, but the simple fact is I have NO power tools. I've asked for Mike to get some for Christmas, but Santa never brings them to him. The things I could do if he only had a saw and a nail gun.

Well I only have one mosquito bite. Maybe this plant was worth the 10 bucks. Go to Lowes and get one!

***Between the writing of this post and the editing/publishing, our giant furball er...Pyrenees decided we needed to demo the kitchen floors too. Yay we are getting new tile! Look for before and after pics of our kitchen....Coming Soon.

Beautiful angelic puppies....

do evil things like this.